Daily Chuckle

PapaJ

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Apr 28, 2020
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We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women
 
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Magicman

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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
 

Daren Todd

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That reminds me of the local town drunk. His family disabled his car because they were worried about him hurting someone.

He then started doing his beer runs on his old bicycle...... he road on the double yellow line in the middle of the road.

Fearing his safety, they took away his bike.

The next day he was doing his beer run again. Pushing his wheel barrow down the double yellow line 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
 

Ping

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Dec 25, 2018
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That reminds me of the local town drunk. His family disabled his car because they were worried about him hurting someone.

He then started doing his beer runs on his old bicycle...... he road on the double yellow line in the middle of the road.

Fearing his safety, they took away his bike.

The next day he was doing his beer run again. Pushing his wheel barrow down the double yellow line 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Daren, that sounds like the drunk neighbor down the road +from where I grew up. Lost his license, they took away his truck so, he'd drive his 8N with brush hog to town to get his liquor. Always a funny sight to see 'ol Willard with the chicken feathers sticking out of his ball cap and several cases of 'Cream of Kentucky' on the brush hog heading home.
 

BigG

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Daren, that sounds like the drunk neighbor down the road +from where I grew up. Lost his license, they took away his truck so, he'd drive his 8N with brush hog to town to get his liquor. Always a funny sight to see 'ol Willard with the chicken feathers sticking out of his ball cap and several cases of 'Cream of Kentucky' on the brush hog heading home.
The town drunk in my home town drove a wheel horse.

Thank God now we have Grub Hub and the town drunk can keep his dignity. :censored:
 

i7win7

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Feb 21, 2020
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Another reason to embrace country life

bus ride.jpeg
 

Magicman

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This is not a joke but rather one to be admired;
IMG_2125.JPG

He is friends with a Grandson and I was fortunate enough to get a picture.
 

chim

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Jan 19, 2013
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The town drunk posts reminded me of something my grandad told me.

Two guys struck up a conversation and began to talk about their families. Sam said that his brother was an embarrassment to the whole family because he was the town drunk. Tom said "It can't be all that bad, can it. Where's he live?" Sam replied, "New York City".
 

D2Cat

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That reminds me of the local town drunk. His family disabled his car because they were worried about him hurting someone.

He then started doing his beer runs on his old bicycle...... he road on the double yellow line in the middle of the road.

Fearing his safety, they took away his bike.

The next day he was doing his beer run again. Pushing his wheel barrow down the double yellow line 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I have a picture in on my HD of a mule tied by the bar. Small town of a few hundred at the most. Owner lost his driver's license and began riding his critter to town.
 

Fordtech86

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I have a picture in on my HD of a mule tied by the bar. Small town of a few hundred at the most. Owner lost his driver's license and began riding his critter to town.
At our dealership we have a large fenced in lot in the back that we store excess inventory vehicles, totaled body shop vehicles, and excess service vehicles. One day there was a horse tied up back there (and this in the middle of the city). What the hell is a horse doing tied up back there? Come to find out it was one of the detail guys horse, only had one car and his wife needed it that day so he rode the horse to work.
 
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Magicman

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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell."
 

Magicman

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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-word the doctor used in surgery".
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS"
 
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Magicman

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A “Gen Y wedding”


Dearest Dad,
I am coming home to get married soon. Can you help pay for a big wedding? I am presently in Australia and the boy I love lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on WhatsApp. He proposed to me on Zoom, and we’ve stayed in touch through Viber. Dad, can I count on you for a big wedding? Your favorite daughter, Lilly


Dad’s response

My Dearest Lilly,
Like Wow! Really? Cool! I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have a honeymoon on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay! Love, Dad
 
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