Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere
Oct 8, 2019
1,260
295
83
77
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!"
 

Lil Foot

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear
May 19, 2011
4,845
127
63
Peoria, AZ
You got me! I'm trying all kinds of different phonetic pronunciations, google translators, and such.:eek:
 

Fordtech86

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200,la525,LP 5’bushhog,LP 5’disc,LP boxblade,2bottom plow,40 gal sprayer
Aug 7, 2018
1,454
141
63
Pineville,LA



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D2Cat

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
L305DT, B7100HST, TG1860, TG1860D, L4240
Mar 27, 2014
9,050
250
83
40 miles south of Kansas City
It snowed last night...


8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from MSNBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.



so keep yer minds right & don't be piSSing on your friends leg & con him into believing

it's snowing.........
 

Orangeglow

Active member

Equipment
2015 BX2370
Jun 19, 2014
195
41
28
Prescott, Ontario
1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
2 - I consider "On Trend" to be the clothes that still fit.
3 - I don't need anger management. People need to stop pissing me off.
4 - My people skills are just fine. My tolerance for idiots needs work.
5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I’ll remember it."
6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.
8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than I am.
 

Fordtech86

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200,la525,LP 5’bushhog,LP 5’disc,LP boxblade,2bottom plow,40 gal sprayer
Aug 7, 2018
1,454
141
63
Pineville,LA



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Fordtech86

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200,la525,LP 5’bushhog,LP 5’disc,LP boxblade,2bottom plow,40 gal sprayer
Aug 7, 2018
1,454
141
63
Pineville,LA



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D2Cat

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L305DT, B7100HST, TG1860, TG1860D, L4240
Mar 27, 2014
9,050
250
83
40 miles south of Kansas City
That may be what the sweater is showing, but how many folks would pick up on that? I saw the report last night on the news, and the news person admitted she did not know what it was, except that the sweater was part of an ugly Christmas sweater collection.

If the news did not report it 95% of the folks wouldn't care or know. It's an example of too much time allotted for news each day, so they have to come up with something to fill the time slot.
 

Daren Todd

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
Z121S Zero turn mower
May 18, 2014
6,184
166
63
Conway, Arkansas
That may be what the sweater is showing, but how many folks would pick up on that? I saw the report last night on the news, and the news person admitted she did not know what it was, except that the sweater was part of an ugly Christmas sweater collection.



If the news did not report it 95% of the folks wouldn't care or know. It's an example of too much time allotted for news each day, so they have to come up with something to fill the time slot.
My wife ordered an ugly sweater online actually liking the design. But not really paying attention to what it actually depicted.

She showed it to me before she wore it to work and it never registered with me either.

She walks into her office she shares with another coworker. Coworker took one look at her sweater and busted out laughing.

The moose on her sweater were fornicating :D :D :D

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Last edited:

BigG

Well-known member

Equipment
l2501, FEL, BB, Rotary cutter, rake,spreader, roller, etc. New Holland TL80 A
Sep 14, 2018
1,159
145
63
West Central,FL
My wife ordered an ugly sweater online actually liking the design. But not really paying attention to what it actually depicted.

She showed it to me before she wore it to work and it never registered with me either.

She walks into her office she shares with another coworker. Coworker took one look at her sweater and busted out laughing.

The moose on her sweater were fornicating :D :D :D

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
You can not tell that story without a picture.