Some things in life very hard to understand

[WFM]

Just learned today my dentist, a third generation military dentist who bought my retiring dentist practice several yrs ago. Put huge money into the practice, renovations, fancy new equipment top to bottom the newest technology in dentistry. Wife and children, always taking the family somewhere or employees to dental conventions in Vegas.
A man who seemed very very focused.
I was told today he had committed suicide.
I'm honestly stunned and very saddened.

 

[Biker1mike]

So sorry to hear that.
The stigma of mental health keeps so many from seeking assistance.

 

[Daren Todd]

Unfortunately, that's something that's really hard to comprehend or wrap tour head around.

I've known a couple people over the years that decided to go that way.

I can understand if you have a terminal illness and decide to go out on your own terms.

But ending your life do to depression is just a selfish tragedy.

 

[chim]

Knew at least six people who decided to take that step. One family doc, a cousin who worked in a factory, Wifey's retired Grandpa and a friend's son. Also two wives of guys I worked with.

It was reported that at least 3 had cancer, two suffered from depression and I'm not sure what it was with the last one.

Never sure what to make of it. I've seen some suffer with a terminal illness that I wouldn't blame them for what they decided.

 

[NCL4701]

Have known a few that have gone that way. Rarely makes sense to those left behind. Hits hard when it’s someone you love and/or respect.

 

[The Evil Twin]

Sorry to hear. It's a horrible thing. I've lost a few this way. It hurts so many left behind.

 

[85Hokie]

When I was very young there was a Dr, everyone loved him - older guy. Hell he would make house calls.

I was about 7 or so and I asked my mom - why are we not going to Dr. Cox? She said he committed suicide, with a shotgun......... that left a hellva impression on me at that age.

 

[GeoHorn]

One never knows the burdens other may carry. I am not so fair, …but My dear wife deliberately meets a stranger with the presumption they are suffering a broken-heart. Outward appearances can be very deceiving. A person’s situation can be hidden behind the facade of material things and entourage.

A man of immense apparent wealth commits suicide because of the credit payments to service the debts acquired to create the facade.

“…O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,…”

 

[John T]

Just learned today my dentist, a third generation military dentist who bought my retiring dentist practice several yrs ago. Put huge money into the practice, renovations, fancy new equipment top to bottom the newest technology in dentistry. Wife and children, always taking the family somewhere or employees to dental conventions in Vegas.
A man who seemed very very focused.
I was told today he had committed suicide.
I'm honestly stunned and very saddened.

Sorry to hear this.
For some reason Dentists have a high rate of suicide.


The dentist I had when I was a kid killed himself. The next dentist I had Got arrested and thrown in jail for peddling Opioid pills.

The 3rd guy was just a Right bastard at times..... Thats what put me into a 10 year hiatus from a visit..

I just recently went back and to my thrill, He was gone and a new dentist and staff was in there... Quite the joy. No cavity's.... But it did take 2 appointments for a cleaning...

Not sure WHY the high rate of suicide with dentists.....

They sure get paid well enough....

 

[jampy00]

All the things many dream of Wealth, success, fame etc. Don't always bring happiness even when fully achieved. There are always two sides to a coin and one is often darker than the other. Terrible waste, a moment of selfish hopelessness leaving a lifetime of loss and sadness..

 

[007kubotaguy]

This topic is real close to my heart. Last August I received a frantic call from my daughter. Her husband my son-in-law had taken his own life. 40-year-old young man extremely intelligent and a beautiful family. He and I spent many hours together. He was a computer geek and helped me with my business billing. We all knew that sometimes he dealt with depression and had been prescribed medication for it. We found out later he had not been taking it for a month. He and my daughter and two grandchildren live on our property. From the outside I would have never guessed this could possibly happen. But as I have learned there is many things going on that none of us could see. With great friends and neighbors and a close family everybody is getting through it as best as can be expected.

 

[mcmxi]

Just learned today my dentist, a third generation military dentist who bought my retiring dentist practice several yrs ago. Put huge money into the practice, renovations, fancy new equipment top to bottom the newest technology in dentistry. Wife and children, always taking the family somewhere or employees to dental conventions in Vegas.
A man who seemed very very focused.
I was told today he had committed suicide.
I'm honestly stunned and very saddened.

Sorry to hear that.

My oldest brother took his own life in December of 2004. I had hoped that the autopsy would reveal that he had a high blood alcohol level when he decided to hang himself, but he didn't have anything in his system. It'll be 20 years this December but I miss him still and think about him often. The day I heard about his death was a tough one, and his funeral even tougher. On the plane from Los Angeles to London I sat next to a young English woman who like me was one of five, and she'd just lost her oldest brother in Iraq. I thought about the synchronicity of that meeting and of the things we talked about. My brother left behind two young boys all those years ago.

 

[Bmyers]

Mental illness is one of those disease that we (society) makes an individual feel bad about seeking help.

People seeking help, depending on the State they live in, start to lose rights, such as gun rights as soon as the person goes to get help.

A person having a heart attack would be encouraged to seek medical treatment and get early intervention.

Yet the way the system is setup, lack of providers, and the cultural stigma that comes with mental illness, it discourages those that need help to seek the treatment that would prevent the disease from taking his/her life.

 

[D2Cat]

I can't imagine someone who is so distraught to consider taking their own life be concerned about losing any rights.

I guess they need the help way before that point and if one is into societies crap about keeping up with the Jones's we end up keeping it all to ourselves. Kind of like a water heater when the pop-off valve lets go.

 

[RCW]

Like others, known quite a few folks that have gone that route.

Two or three farmers, and one farmer that murdered his brother.

As a high school junior, my son’s buddy did it. His mom worked for me at the time. His family grew up with and were tight with ours over several children of the same ages.

Caused our son problems, including his interaction with us as his parents. Still not sure it’s all resolved in his own head.

Several years later his mother did it on the anniversary of her son’s demise….so sad

 

[GrizBota]

My condolences to the living. Friends, family, clients. Sad news to be sure. None of us really ever walks a mile in another person’s shoes.

 

[Bmyers]

I can't imagine someone who is so distraught to consider taking their own life be concerned about losing any rights.

I guess they need the help way before that point and if one is into societies crap about keeping up with the Jones's we end up keeping it all to ourselves. Kind of like a water heater when the pop-off valve lets go.

Yes, it is a problem. Not only rights, but how the individual will be perceived. It has taken a lot of work in the Fire Service/Police Service/EMS to get those involved (both employees and bosses) to understand that seeking help is not a bad thing or to be looked down upon. Thankfully, in our area there has been some big strives in getting those in need help and getting the services to understand that mental health illness is like any other illness and needs treatment and people need to be encouraged to get treatment without the stigma.

I know I had to adjust my own attitude when I had to deal with two different friends that went through some severe mental health issues, but with help they both were able to return to work and become out spoken advocates for mental health treatment and they spend time now encouraging others to get help.

 

[D2Cat]

Maybe I need to do some homework to understand. Is it being depressed about something in life that eventually is too overwhelming to address, a (natural) chemical imbalance, brain malfunction because of past drug/alcohol abuse? Are there any clues/habits to perhaps identify way before the end?

 

[Bmyers]

Maybe I need to do some homework to understand. Is it being depressed about something in life that eventually is too overwhelming to address, a (natural) chemical imbalance, brain malfunction because of past drug/alcohol abuse? Are there any clues/habits to perhaps identify way before the end?

The answer is yes. I know, clear as mud.

Some mental illness is brought on by chemical changes in the body. Some occur naturally, like a woman going through menopause. Others are self induced by drug use, which includes alcohol. It can also be caused by other medical conditions that aren't currently diagnosed or being treated such as a brain tumor, thyroid issues, etc.

In addition, stress can be a major factor. Seeing traumatic events or being involved with them can lead to mental health issues. Realizing that everyone deals with stress/trauma differently.

Drug abuse/alcohol abuse is one sign that the individual may have underlying mental health issues and are seeking a way to deal with the illness. Others may become withdrawn and antisocial.

In cases with suicide, when you talk with family/friends, it is not uncommon days before the event that the individual will seem at peace. The family/friends will say the person had been under stress or dealing with 'abc', but 'we thought he/she was getting better because he/she seemed better the last few days'. Usually that improvement is seen because the individual has finally decided that he/she is ending his/her life and have come to a personal peace about feeling it is the only escape that is left.

Understand, these are very broad statements and the topic is very involved. There are some decent websites out there that provide details and links to getting help. I have had a few employees use them and it was very successful for them. Realizing, sometimes people just need a little guidance and perspective to help get back on track.

Help Someone Else

If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting…

988lifeline.org

Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling

Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. We're here for everything: anxiety, depression, suicide, school. Text HOME to 741741.

www.crisistextline.org

 

[Biker1mike]

Maybe I need to do some homework to understand. Is it being depressed about something in life that eventually is too overwhelming to address, a (natural) chemical imbalance, brain malfunction because of past drug/alcohol abuse? Are there any clues/habits to perhaps identify way before the end?

Even the professionals have a hard time finding reasons and actions to help control a mental illness.
We have been dealing with this in the home. The psychiatrist (MD) has had the kid on several different combinations of drugs until we hit on what appears to be working. This took almost a year of very close attention to details and looking for mood changes or altered states. No one knows if this is a lifetime thing or if she may be off the meds in the future. Again, a crap shoot at best.
A therapist is also critical. If the person does not hit it off with the therapist , it is a bust. We went through 4 or 5 until there was a match. Then all of the sudden the light went on and an honest dialogue started.

One of the biggest hurts for the kid were the whispers of the relatives. They, like many, did not understand that this is an medical/brain issue and getting treatment is key. She now now proudly states that YES, she is seeing a psychiatrist , a therapist, and on meds.

For me. I am just happy that she is back to the same realty as the rest of us (most of us), SHE IS ALIVE, and has plans for the future. Those three items were in question just a short time ago.