Daily Chuckle

[ayak]

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Why do lawyers wear neckties?

To prevent their foreskins from rolling up over their heads and cause them to suffocate.

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

HE MUST PAY
Husband and wife had a big row.. The wife called up her mum and said, "He shouted at me again, I am coming to live with you mum." Mum said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”

 

[Magicman]

Forgot My Glasses
Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 81 years old and you 're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." "I'm in trouble again, and I don 't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week." I told her. She fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[RCW]

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I’ve coined a bunch of nicknames for coworkers. All violate company policy but in good humor.

Just found a new one….thanks!

 

[Fordtech86]

Shoulda got it, but I didn’t . This was at daughters cheer comp this weekend

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[hodge]

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[Lil Foot]

Above attachment doesn't work.

 

[DustyRusty]

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"

The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"

 

[Magicman]

To be Old and Wise...
first you must be...
Young and Stupid.

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Outnumbered]

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I raised two beautiful daughters and may have been guilty of said tactics