Daily Chuckle

Daren Todd

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May 18, 2014
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Had a buddy travel from Vermont to go hunting in New York. Didn't see a thing all day. I sent him a picture of a 4 pointer that was in the road about 100ft from me and the pooch with a message saying "took this 10 minutes ago" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

He texted me back the middle finger 🙄🙄😁😁😁😁
 

xrocketengineer

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Nov 14, 2020
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Real story. One of my rocket ranch coworkers would religiously go "back home" in upstate NY every year to hunt deer. He had never been able to even see one in all those years. Anyway, he convinced another coworker (non hunter) to make the pilgrimage with him one year. The day before the hunt, he provided the novice with all kinds of advice including to take a shower with no soap before the hunt to avoid any human scents that would spook the deer.
The day of the hunt, they decided to split up for a better chance to find a deer. After a while, the novice had the urge to take a dump. He realized that would screw up his chances of finding a dear but when you have to go, you have to go. So, next to a tree he relieved himself.
As he walked away feeling relieved, he heard a sound behind him. As he turned around he found a deer smelling his fresh deed. He shot the deer and killed it on his first outing!
The other "hunter" was livid. All the years and techniques that he had tried to get a deer never worked and this guy gets one right off the bat.
When they returned to Florida and we heard the story, we made fun of the "expert hunter" about the whole episode and we told him that his problem was that he had been using the wrong bait all along.
That was another one of his many (mis)adventures like the time when he got chased by a bull while in a boat with his wife. And the boat ran aground....
 
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NCL4701

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Apr 27, 2020
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Central Piedmont, NC
Reminds me of a deer hunt with my son back when he was in college. He came home one weekend to hunt so we were sitting in a 2 man elevated stand back to back Saturday evening, him with a 30-06 and me with a .308. We sat there in dead silence like good hunters do, didn’t see anything but squirrels. Got to be dark so it was time to head out.

He was unloading the 30-06 so he could lower it down on the rope we kept up in the stand but there was only one up there so he mentioned we have two guns but only one rope. I told him either climb down and I’ll lower the guns to you one at a time (seemed obvious to me) or if you really want two ropes, that one is long enough you could cut it in half and have two adequate ropes. He said he didn’t have anything to cut it with and then it came out he had pawned a $95.00 very nice pocket knife he’d had for years for something like $10. I thought that was about the dumbest thing I’d heard since I don’t know when and let him know it. He said it was none of my business, which I vehemently disagreed with since he was still on my payroll. Being we were both mature adults, we went to hollering at each other like a couple of pissed off donkeys for the next 20 minutes or so. It pretty much ended with my shouting at him from about 6” away it was a damn good thing the stand was so small and our guns were so long. He asked why. Told him because we didn’t have enough room to get our rifles turned around on each other. We finally found something agreed on so we decided to climb down and walk home.

As he was about to climb down told him to hold up because it kind of looked like there was something big moving near the stand and ill as I was with him, didn’t really want him to climb down to meet a bear in the dark. Checked it out with the flashlight and saw at least a half dozen deer peacefully grazing right below us, paying us no mind whatsoever.

Sometimes I think you might just as well piss out the window if you need to and make as much noise as you want. At least the deer on our place seem to do what they’re going to do regardless.
 

Henro

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May 24, 2019
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Amen

To those that have, do, and will serve, thank you.

All gave some, some gave all.
I'm a vet and spent a year in South East Asia back in the Vietnam days...

I'm missing the connection related to a poppy. When I hear poppy I think of the poppy fields in Afghanistan...and drugs like heroin, opium and so on.

Where did I go wrong in life???

I know this is the daily chuckle thread, but can't help myself asking a rather off topic question...sorry...
 
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OntheRidge

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I'm a vet and spent a year in South East Asia back in the Vietnam days...

I'm missing the connection related to a poppy. When I hear poppy I think of the poppy fields in Afghanistan...and drugs like heroin, opium and so on.

Where did I go wrong in life???

I know this is the daily chuckle thread, but can't help myself asking a rather off topic question...sorry...
 
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Henro

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May 24, 2019
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Thank you for posting that.

I had no idea...couldn't figure out the original post with the image, which I honestly did not like the language, but I get the point now.

Still don't see any humor in it though...
 

OntheRidge

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Thank you for posting that.

I had no idea...couldn't figure out the original post with the image, which I honestly did not like the language, but I get the point now.

Still don't see any humor in it though...
Agreed, wrong forum for that.
 
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Ridelght

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A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].” The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does what he said he would do. After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers back into town. He’s pretty mad. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterward, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka. Now he’s really mad. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back. When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “You’re not doing this for the hunting, are you?”
 
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Newlyme

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May 27, 2015
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Agreed, wrong forum for that.
There is never a wrong time, place, or forum to to bring attention to and thank a veteran for their service.
To all of the Veterans and their families, Thank You.
 
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