Daily Chuckle

[RCW]

View attachment 55867

Looks familiar....this is my truck from December. It’s a full size Chevy Silverado.

Defrosters had it all cleared off in no time....

 

[dlsmith]

Looks familiar....this is my truck from December. It’s a full size Chevy Silverado.

Defrosters had it all cleared off in no time....

Looks like one of those Minnesota "light dustings."

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[i7win7]

Old flame...
A couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. She recognized him as an old flame.

"Honey," she said to her husband, as she pointed out the man, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much!"

 

[Magicman]

The invisible man married the invisible woman,

Their kids were not much to look at either.

 

[Magicman]

Man's Best Friend

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.


Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

 

[bearbait]

Man's Best Friend

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.


Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

Let me know how that goes for ya??

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

 

[Magicman]

COUNTRY FUNERAL

As a young minister, he was asked by a funeral
director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man
with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a
cemetery way back in the country and this man would be
the first to be laid to rest there.

He was not familiar with the backwoods area and
became lost, and being a typical man did not stop for
directions and finally arrived an hour late.
He saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch
but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apologized to the workers for his tardiness and
stepped to the side of the open grave where he saw the
vault lid already in place. He assured the workers he would
not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing
to do. The workers gathered around still eating their
lunch and he poured out his heart and soul.

As he preached the workers began to say 'Amen,' 'Praise
the Lord,' and 'Glory'! He preached, and preached, like
he'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to
Revelation.

He closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to
his car.

As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, he
overheard one of the workers saying to another, 'I ain't
never seen anything like that before and I've been
putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

 

[i7win7]

Won't have to clean off the snow in the morning

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

OOhhhhh that's bad....

 

[Magicman]

New hearing aids

An old farmer had serious hearing problems after all those years of driving a Kubota, so he was fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.

The farmer went back in a month later for his follow-up appointment. The audiologist said, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again!"

"Oh, I haven't told my family yet," the farmer said. "I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

 

[orange crusher]

*Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was
still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she
was very nervous.

Her mother reassured her;
'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of
you.
Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'

So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed
his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'

'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests..Go
upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'*

*
So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'

'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs
and he'll take good care of you..'

So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on
his left foot he was missing three toes.*

*When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot
and a half!'

Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'*

 

[orange crusher]

We received an email asking us to join in 3 days of sobriety. It seems that there has been a significant increase in alcohol consumption during this pandemic.

The email requested that we get as many people as possible to join us in a pledge to not drink any alcohol in the three days - Feb 29 - 30 & 31

We will comply. I hope many of you will join us.

That e mail is going into my junk file as I never have drank. Next week you'll probably get a e mail to not smoke dope. The pandemic has turned out for the weak knee'd, to increase their need to excuse the behavior. Just sayin'.............

 

[Magicman]

I have never drank nor smoked either. I did get a call yesterday from "Amazon" alerting me that a purchase had been made for $999.00 and the item was to be delivered to Maryland. They needed my CC number to verify that the purchase was not a fraud. Strange because I got a very similar call from "Amazon" last week alerting me about a $399 purchase. I feel so good knowing that "Amazon" is looking out after my best interest.

Little to they know that two weeks ago I got a call notifying me that I had won $5,400,000 !!! They only needed my CC# so that they could transfer it over to my CC account.