Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

Do you know what you call the student with the lowest grades in medical school??







Doctor.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[aaluck]

View attachment 98719

Some of us can a little.

 

[Magicman]

 

[DustyRusty]

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled sincerely and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, “and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test “Balance.”
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one”? "That's Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, it's surrounded by water and days filled with sunshine. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to travel the world. They will be sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be 'balance.'"
God smiled an all-knowing smile and said, “I will create California. Wait till you see the idiots I’ll put there!"

 

[DustyRusty]

An elderly man rear-ends a guy driving an expensive sports car.
Enraged, the guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look what you did to my car!” he yells.
“You’re gonna give me $10,000 right now or I’m gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!”
“Oh my,” says the old man, “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he’ll know what to do.”
“Dolphins!” the other driver huffs while rolling his eyes. The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son, and just as the son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
“So, you’re a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I’m gonna beat you and your old man both to a bloody pulp.”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” says the calm voice on the other end.
Exactly ten minutes later, a jeep pulls up and the son hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the side of the road.
When he’s finished, he walks over to his father and says, “For the last time, dad…. I train SEALS…. Navy SEALS…. not dolphins!”

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[Bmyers]

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh.
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled sincerely and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, “and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test “Balance.”
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one”? "That's Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, it's surrounded by water and days filled with sunshine. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to travel the world. They will be sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be 'balance.'"
God smiled an all-knowing smile and said, “I will create California. Wait till you see the idiots I’ll put there!"

We may need to get Dusty checked out by the doctor since it seems his memory is going and he forgot that just five post ago he posted the same thing. I think this may be a warning sign of old timers disease or to much of the grapes of wrath.

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[i7win7]