Quotations To Live By.....

biglefty

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Pigs get fat. Hogs get slaughtered.
 

dlsmith

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"If you find me chopped up inside the freezer, don't believe the suicide note." - Ray Barone
 

skeets

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Never date a girl with big hands,, it makes your willy look small
My Granny
 

D2Cat

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When an Indian was asked his opinion on "Daylight Savings Time, he said; "Only a white man can take a blanket; cut two inches off the top and sew it to the bottom and think he has a longer blanket!"
 
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NHSleddog

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"Don't give it to me filtered son, that's like sucking tits through a sweater".

My father - many times
 

skeets

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Walk left, safe. Walk right, safe. Walk in the middle, you get squished like a grape.
 

sheepfarmer

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When I was young I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older I admire kind people. AJ Heschel
 

skeets

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More from Grannies advice on dating
If at first your succeed,,,,,,,,, you were not the first !
 

SidecarFlip

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You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool your mom..... Captain Penny
 

RCW

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Gotta thank sheepfarmer for resurrecting the thread.

I went through all 25 pages again...got some good laughs from D2Cat, lilfoot, NewLyme, and many others...some we don't see anymore.

Now skeets - - Granny must have been a real pizzer. Saw a couple zingers from your Grandpop too.

Never date a girl with big hands,, it makes your willy look small
My Granny
In the 21st Century, a "big-handed" woman might mean something more than Granny was thinking about... 😳

More from Grannies advice on dating
If at first your succeed,,,,,,,,, you were not the first !
That's just plain funny! (y)

Both sound like things one of my grannies would say! :)
 

skeets

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Gran was a cat bird, she called a spade a spade, and you never had to wonder where you stood with her and she would give you a piece of her mind weather you asked for it or not. Now I understand why Grand Pap drank him self to death ... lol But then being an old school Irish man what else would ya expect ;)
 

RCW

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Gran was a cat bird, she called a spade a spade, and you never had to wonder where you stood with her and she would give you a piece of her mind weather you asked for it or not.
That's exactly like one of my Grannies...her husband/my Grandfather was even more direct.

Lots of beer was usually involved.

They were a pair that'd beat 3-of-a-kind any day!

My girlfriend met them both at my high school graduation party.....my grandfather called her "Hey - - - Blondie!!"

She married me anyway.... :cool:
 

BXHoosier

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“If you’re continually sticking your head up your ass, wear a bigger hat so it won’t fit.”

A younger guy at work was scrapping parts one right after the other. I looked at him and said “I’m gonna get you a bigger hat”. With a confused look on his face he asked why. My reply was, “So your head won’t fit up your ass!”. He took it well. Haha
 
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chim

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After hearing of a particularly heinous crime some fellow had committed, Grandad said:

"They should take that SOB and hack his nuts off with a dull hoe".