Reminds me of that time that I "got to make my own knife" out of a "vintage" railroad spike
P.T. Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute.
Story:
So there I am, in a place called Frankenmuth MI, with the family.
I get dragged there, kicking and screaming, about once every 7-10 years for what "some people" call the "Worlds Best Chicken Dinner".
(Personally, I think KFC is way better, but that's neither here, nor there.)
Anywho, while we are waiting to be fleeced hundreds of dollars for the "Worlds Best Chicken Dinner", I see out the corner of my eye a sign that said something to the effect.
"Make your own knife out of a vintage railroad spike"
So these "visions of sugarplums" and me swinging a hammer like John Henry, working a coal fired forge, pop into my head and since I still have to wait nearly 3 hours for the "Worlds Best Chicken Dinner", I decide that the hundred dollars that is sitting in my pocket, is burning a hole in it, so I sign up to "make my own knife".
Well it turns out that all of these visions of "crafting my own knife" ends up going like this.
1. I hand them 100 bucks.
2. I stand in line with my fellow idiots for 30 minutes, waiting for "my turn to "make" my knife".
3. Then some 18 YO punk, (whom I have more time on a Marine Corps shitter, than he has in a shop), gives me a set of scratched up safety glasses and a hammer.
4. The Punk then heats up a railroad spike, well away from me.
5. Then walks it over and tells me to hit it a few times.
6. Then Punks girlfriend, Suzy Rottencrotch, tells me to come back in 2 hours to pick up "my homemade knife".
Gosh-dam I hate that tourist trap hellhole.
I should have bought 100 dollars worth of fudge.
Damn you, P.T. Barnum!!!!!!