Daily Chuckle

ayak

ayak

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A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?

• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?

• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?

• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?

• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.

• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too
 
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Old_Paint

Old_Paint

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chim said:
Had one of those at the town park. Back then potato chips were packed in waxed paper bags. We'd sit on the empty bags for a few runs. That helped speed things up:)
Click to expand...
Milk cartons in the 60's had the same usefulness. We had one like that in the children's home that I grew up in, and another that was probably at least 20 feet high with no guard rails other than the hand rails for the ladder. Dunno, maybe kids back then understood gravity better and didn't have a phone in their hand to distract them from the impending doom if they weren't paying attention. It had a rather peculiar hump about half way down to give you a little 'Zero-G' surprise, and if you weren't prepared for it, your timing for the end of the ride would get completely screwed up and the landing was inevitably painful. Walking up the 'little' slide took skills, but climbing the 'big' slide was next to impossible if it had been recently waxed with the milk cartons. Needless to say, a home with 60 kids in it had no shortage of milk cartons, so the big slide was rarely unwaxed. The little one got it when some of the middle aged kids decided to take over and dominate the big one. This normally happened right after the younger kids had done the waxing and got it good and fast. Once the stainless steel was waxed and clean, the speed usually resulted in quite a few wedgies with significant strawberries on the butt cheeks at the end if the kid didn't get their feet down and learn to come off that thing in a dead run. I saw my share of face plants off that thing too. I'll never forget the first idiot that decided to go down it headfirst. It didn't go well for him. Definitely a Darwinian event.

Thinking back on some of the outdoor play equipment we had, I often wonder how there wasn't at least one kid hospitalized every week in that home. I still think it's because kids back then concentrated on their play (especially when suspended 10-15 feet off the ground by nothing but their grip and strength) and could do so on more dangerous equipment because they weren't distracted by cell phones and other electronics. Most of us were lucky to have a hand-me-down 7 transistor AM radio that would barely tune in the radio station that was 3 blocks away. For the life of me, I can't even remember one broken arm or leg. Probably because of the amount of whole milk we drank so we could get the cartons for the slide.
 
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chim

chim

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There may be some actual pictures somewhere in boxes we move as generations die off, but here are some pics that resemble the equipment in the "town" playground when I was a kid. The volunteer fire company maintained a small park for the kids in that end of town. There was a baseball field and a few pieces of equipment.

The jungle gym was a pipe assembly very much like the one in the picture below. It could get slippery when wet and there were a few bruises and damaged teeth.

The merry-go-round was just like the picture below. A kid with strong legs could stand in the center and get it going fast enough to make the kids on the seats scream (and a few times even fall off).

The swingset in the picture looks like a smaller model from the same manufacturer that we had. Ours had the slide at one end, three swings next to that, then a fixed pipe bar at around 6' off the ground and finally two see-saws. the swing seats were made of 2x8's with metal plates top and bottom so they wouldn't split. They were a lot easier to jump from that those newfangled rubber ones. The see-saws were maybe 2x12's with pipe T handles and metal scalloped gadgets on the bottom to allow for some adjustment. Smarter kids didn't use the sandbox because the cats did:)

JG.jpg
Swings.JPG
MGR.jpg
 
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