Daily Chuckle

[Lil Foot]

Never knew the garage had long term parking

View attachment 70711

Might make out OK on this one- the wood is probably worth more than the wheels & tires!

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy...

 

[Fordtech86]

@skeets

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

It's OK I got the rental insurance

 

[i7win7]

I think it's going to rain soon

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

Recalculating

 

[i7win7]

Daddy's worst prom date nightmare (from Police Academy)

Next worst

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

One Monday morning the Mailman is walking through the
neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail.

As he approaches one of the homes, he noticed that both cars
were still in the driveway.

His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out
with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow, Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last
night,' the Mailman comments.

Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday
night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 PM Sunday.

We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for
some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight
that we started playing " WHO AM I?"

The Mailman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a
time with a sheet covering us, with only our family jewels showing through a
hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The Mailman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I
missed it.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded. 'Your name
came up 7 times.

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[shelkol]

View attachment 70793

OUCH!!!!

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

"It's the minister, Mommy" the child said to her mother.

Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

 

[i7win7]

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him.

The boy's hair was bright yellow and green with orange tips, and he had blue makeup around his eyes. The old man kept looking at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have. I got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]