Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
3,226
2,353
113
78
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
From T-Shirts:

If you're happy and you know it, It's your meds

To me "Drink Responsibly" means don't spill it

Sorry I'm late ... I didn't want to come

NO!!! I don't need anger management, you need to stop PHITHING ME OFF!

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for all this wisdom

When I was a kid I wanted to be older... this CRAP is not what I expected

Everyone was thinking it, I just said it

The best thing about the good old days was that I wasn't good and I wasn't old

Some days the supply of curse words is insufficient to meet my demands

Science doesn't care what you believe

You are about to exceed the limits of my medication

On your mark, GET SET, GO AWAY!

My relationship with WHISKEY is on the rocks

I have stopped LISTENING... so why are you still TALKING

The secret to enjoying a good wine:
1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe
2. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth

If you can't laugh at yourself, LET ME DO IT

Patience is a virtue. Just not one of my virtues

I am who I am ... Your approval is not needed

4 out of 3 people struggle with math

Retired - under new management - see spouse for details

My body is a TEMPLE, ancient and crumbling, probably cursed or haunted
 
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RCW

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Apr 28, 2013
6,419
1,677
113
Chenango County, NY
I think the problem here is facial hair....... :oops::oops:

I've always been an "aggressive" griller.....reason they don't last long here at home.

If a dumbass wanted a 16oz. Filet Mignon well-done, they deserve it....check.

If a connoisseur wanted a steak done "blue".....check.

I don't have eyebrows or hair on my arms from March to October....you shouldn't have a long beard if you grill like he and I do.....;)
 
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Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
3,226
2,353
113
78
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A woman took her pet duck to the vet. The duck just didn't look right and wasn't moving. The vet put the duck on the exam table and listened to its heart. And he said, "I'm sorry mam, your ducks dead." The woman said, "No, no, he can't be dead. He's looked like this before. He's just not feeling well. Are there anymore tests that you can do? I'm just sure he's not dead." The doctor thinks for a minute and tells her that there were a couple of tests that he could do. So he calls in his dog. The dog jumped up on the table and sniffed the duck then he looked up at the vet and shook his head. Then the vet brought in his cat. The cat jumped up on the table and sniffed the duck and shook his head no as well. The vet explained to the woman that he was sorry for her loss, but both the dog and cat confirmed that the duck was dead. The woman accepted that the duck must infact be dead asked the doc, "what do I owe?" The vetrinarian replied "$150". Dismayed the woman exclaimed "150 dollars! you're going to charge me 150 dollars just to tell me that my duck is dead!" To this the doctor replied, "Well, if you'd have taken my word for it this would have only cost you $20, but with the lab test and the cat scan, it's $150."