Daily Chuckle

[Daren Todd]

 

[dirtydeed]

 

[Daylight]

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term Memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[WanderOn]

Yup, I am 82 and counting so I very well know of what I speak. I have a portable sawmilling business and daily handle lumber and slabs. This activity stretches my knuckles and I can no longer make a fist.

The customer provides help which is difficult and sometimes impossible to find so I find myself overextending myself:
View attachment 161382
The customer and I sawed these in 14 hours last week with no additional help.

View attachment 161384
Whittling it down and lumber pictured in the background.

View attachment 161383
Only three more to go and finished. Yes, this old man works.

Hope I'm still that active at your age

 

[WanderOn]

View attachment 161407

Yes please

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