...you aren't going to be able to steer it if the ball joint separates from the A arm.
I have already check it myself and found nothing loose and all the keys were in the castle nuts on the ball joints.
Your first point - EXACTLY!
Second - ball joints that I have seen fail, come apart, the castle nut and pin are still connected to the stud.
The recall notice states "inspected and repaired". Kind of giving the dealers an out. If the part is going to be recalled dealers should have to replace them all, no questions. Seems the lawyers got involved.
Let me give a non-mechanical example. As a retired Energy Engineer when rating light bulbs the published "life" or hours a bulb will last is based on operating a sample (sometime 100's, sometimes 1,000's) of product. They are run X minutes on / Y minutes off. They do this 24/7 until 50% of the bulbs fail. That is the published hours on the box. Many bulbs will fail after just a couple of hours and many may last multiples of the published hours.
My point is if the ball joints are not noticeably bad today (when you or the dealer inspects it) whose to say it won't fail in the future. I would feel uncomfortable not having them replaced, even if the dealer say they are OK, and I would do it myself if no other option, a small inconvenience in time and money for the peace of mind.