Impossible things that can't happen with tractors, but happen anyway..oH Sh!#s

[dandeman]

Reference a related thread about tractor vulnerability to damage....

We all seem to like a little humor and what better humor is there than hearing about some obscure way an unfortunate tractor soul found to damage their tractor.. i.e. Impossible Possibilities...

To assist us all in getting the strongest chuckle from other life experience with tractors, Dave Barry's wisdom leads the way... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Barry

When distinguishing fact from hyperbole, Barry frequently asserts: "I am not making this up." Among his favorite topics are exploding or flaming items (cows, whales, vacuum cleaners, toilets, Pop-Tarts, Barbie dolls, etc.), dogs lacking intelligence, live blogging the television series 24, and amusing government studies.

Barry has defined a sense of humor as "a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge."

A couple of my Impossible, Possibles that happened...

Many Ford 8N, 9N and my 4000 tractor had the exhaust pipe exit the engine manifold and then go down along underbelly to exit at tractor rear.. heavily bolted in place. Judging from all the Ford tractors I've seen I think the Ford factory workers set up a lottery to see who could come up with the most weird way to do the exhausts..

Scenario: Back up tractor in woods.. Don't see low stump behind tractor, but high enough to meet exhaust.. Stump wins.. Exhausts pipe gets shoved forward enough off engine until said exhaust pipe meets radiator... exhaust 1, radiator 0... custom mod time .. cut said exhaust off, weld on extension to exit to the side of engine..

Scenario: Little tree in my woods says I going to grow up and at just the perfect leaning angle to meet woodlot owner's BX2230 at just the right angle to wipe out those expensive Kubota lights that smarty pants owner thinks will be protected by all the extra steel put on the tractor.. Tree 1, Kubota lights 0... Solution: Add yet more steel..

Even bulldozers are not exempt.. the last time my trusted bulldozer operator was working on the land, he met a tree stump that decided it was stronger than his aging clam shell bucket... Critical weld broke... he said got to haul it back to the shop... naw, naw, I said... got a 295 amp arc welder in the basement... pull the dozer up to the house.. after some smoke and sparks, bulldozer happy again... gave me a nice discount on the job..

Your turn......

 

[bucktail]

Never seen it happen myself, but some of the older guys I knew growing up told me that positive ground tractors that had a magneto and a kill switch with no detent could start up and drive away if left in gear when struck by lightning.

 

[armylifer]

When I was in the Army in the early 1970's I once saw a 2 1/2 ton truck start up on the motor pool line and drive itself into a fence and over an embankment. It turned out that the driver had left the truck in gear and did not lock the fuel cutoff knob out. Diesel engines in those trucks did not need battery to run. Fuel pump was mechanical, not electronic.

Another time I saw a 'dozer start up while just sitting in the hot sun. Fortunately, it was not in gear so it did not move.

 

[Corney]

That Ford 8N exhaust was a gem.

I took off the manifold to change the gasket once and one of the studs came right out of the block pissing antifreeze out. In my panic to put it back in I did not notice the antifreeze had run into the exhaust system. When I fired the old girl up the combination of to much fuel, a cracked manifold and a exhaust pipe full of antifreeze caused a backfire. Hot antifreeze blew out the back painting my kids Toyota truck parked about 30' away from the tractor?

Boy was he pissed?

 

[Daren Todd]

My great uncle was prone to running himself over with his old farmall A when he would go to start it.


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[bucktail]

We had an H that we ran without a functioning starter for a couple of years. I had it come after me a few times when it started in gear, but it never came close to running over me.

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

Some of the old JD's you used to spin the flywheel to get them to start. Probably wasn't the "normal" way to do it, but on my uncle's farm there was a lot of new "norms"!

 

[Daren Todd]

We had an H that we ran without a functioning starter for a couple of years. I had it come after me a few times when it started in gear, but it never came close to running over me.

My great uncle was partially handicapped from some bug when he was a kid. Wouldn't ask for help, but really had no business being on it.

When it got his cane the last time, and ended up in a pond cause he couldn't catch it, my grandfather walked off with the hand crank for it. After that, he or my dad would mow the fields for him.


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[bucktail]

Some of the old JD's you used to spin the flywheel to get them to start. Probably wasn't the "normal" way to do it, but on my uncle's farm there was a lot of new "norms"!

We never had one, but that's how I remember folks starting their A's and B's, so it can't be too abnormal.

 

[bcp]

You took off the steering wheel, put a short adapter in it, then inserted it into the flywheel and spun it.

Fancy people had a spare steering wheel with adapter installed hanging on the tractor somewhere.

Rich, fancy people had electric start.

Bruce