Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
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6,535
113
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Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
For Christmas, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of
assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The
teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She
touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another
drop and asked, " Champagne ?. "No," said the little
boy.............."It's a puppy!"
 
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ACDII

Well-known member

Equipment
B2410, L352 Loader, Woods BH70-X backhoe
Oct 21, 2021
660
407
63
Illinois
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
 
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Jared 756

Member

Equipment
MX5400, L3901 and B2601
Jun 9, 2021
55
34
18
Washington st
3 hunters go hunting. One is smart, one is average, one is stupid.

The smart hunter goes out and comes back with a deer.

"Where'd you get the deer?" the other two ask.

"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I shot the deer."

Then, the average hunter goes out and comes back with a rabbit.

"Where'd you get the rabbit?" ask the other two.

"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, I saw the rabbit, I shot the rabbit."

Then, the dumb hunter goes out and comes back with a bunch of cuts and bruises.

"Where'd you get so many cuts and bruises?" the other two ask.

"Me see track, me follow track, me see train, me shoot train, train no stop."
 
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orange crusher

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2680
Sep 30, 2017
356
479
63
ontario canada
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Hamad, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Hamad replied, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats."