Funny/Strange Memories…got any?

[Henro]

I like to think I’m not easily impressed, but after learning here (in a different thread) about the recent passing of one of our former members (who many remember fondly or otherwise) jogged a memory of something that apparently did impress me.

Didn’t really know this individual that well, but my wife and ,I when passing through Michigan, spent the night on his farm, sleeping in our van. Later that year or next he stopped by here at our home and spent the night in the camper on his pick up

Anyway, we were outside talking under a pine tree, next to where his truck was parked. It was sometime in the afternoon. So we are standing about 4 feet apart and just BSing. In the middle of a sentence he pulls it out and takes a leak right on the ground between us, without skipping a beat with what he is saying…

That memory pops up now and then… I guess I was impressed! (I would have turned around a bit I suppose)

 

[cliffboyer]

Does not sound like he was bashful.

In my late teens I was helping a guy with a shingle job. House was not really secluded, with trees & bushes in backyard. On a street with many older run down houses.

I had to take a leak, so went in bushes behind detached garage and did my business. About an hour later we are done with tear off and rolling out paper, he says I gotta piss. He walks to edge of roof at rear of house, whips it out and streams it right off the roof. Just standing there, a Pall Mall in his mouth, staring at the sky.

I got other stories about him too, but that one stuck.

 

[Lil Foot]

Posted this before, but I gotta laugh every time I remember it:

Puts me in mind of a true story related to me by an instructor at the Phoenix Fire Academy. He was a Battalion Chief on a trip to Flagstaff, doing some training classes.
He stopped in the Great America gas station (it's huge) and noticed a guy putting gas in an old Chevy pickup. The guy was trying to strike a match to look down the filler neck to see the level of gas. The Chief screamed for the guy to stop, ran over and explained how dangerous it was to use a match while fueling with gasoline. The guy was quite embarrassed and contrite, and said he just wasn't thinking. He thanked the Chief profusely, who went back to his vehicle. As the Chief got back to his vehicle, he looked back in time to see the guy light a lighter to look down the filler neck. The guy caught fire, pulled the nozzle out, (which was latched on) sprayed several vehicles & pumps, and ran away. About a dozen vehicles and a good portion of the station burned.
Ya can't fix stupid.

 

[old and tired]

Not that this is a pissing contest... When we first bought our property, about a 3 hour drive, we would have our neighbors come up when ever they wanted to. I would say the majority of the times when they rolled in, I would be talking to the husband on the driver side, and the nice looking wife wouldn't skip a beat and just squat down, still holding conversation and take a piss.... First couple of times it caught me off guard but then it pretty normal.

EDIT!!! Left out a big part, she was on the other side of the car, her head was above the fender, but not by much. She pissed on the other side of the vehicle... Oops...

Those early days were a hoot...

 

[WFM]

Haha...funny memories.
Recently my girlfriend mother had passed.
Being French Canadian she had a catholic funeral and burial. A distance cousin went to the burial but not the funeral. The woman is about 70 weights 100 lbs and chain smokes the longest cigarettes you can buy. After the funeral we go to the cemetery and the ground slopes to the left to the lower side were there is more parking. A remote small town , nothing paved cemetery. We pull in and go left to park along the wood line. Theres the cousin Donna pants on the ground, cigarette in mouth peeing beside her car..
I pull right up to the front of the car..she sees the cars pulling in and jumps up stepping on her pant leg and goes flat on her face cigarette still in mouth...she stands back up, trying to pull up her pants, down she goes again. By now the cars pulling in and lol'ing watching her try to get her pants up ...lol

 

[skeets]

In 1970 I spent 3 months in a Naval hospital, and one morning they brought in a Navy chief that looked like he picked a fight with a thunderstorm and lost. Morning chow came and while I was eating 2 SP's and a Ensign walked up to him wanting to know about last night. He had been at the club had a couple and went home, next thing he knows he is in the ER. A few more questions and the truth came came to light, he went home all dunked up ,and hit his wife several times, I guess he had done this a couple times in the past and passed out. She then preceded to tape him to the bed ,I am assuming the head board and foot board, and worked him over with a frying pan big time ! Broken collar bone, broken arm, broken nose, and gawd only knows what happened to what was covered by the sheets
The young Ensign asked him what he wanted to do about it, if he wanted to press charges, the chief looked thoughtfully at him, and said, I think I'm going to give up drinking ,that was a pretty good reason to give up the juice