Skeets, the only thing I can offer is don't have any birthdays, then you don't have an opportunity to get those gizzmos! But then, the alternative isn't very good, so you just have to put up with:
This may surprise some of you youngsters, but it is quite factual.
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general..
The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
' television
' penicillin
' polio shots
' frozen foods
' Xerox
' contact lenses
' Frisbees and
' the pill
There were no:
' credit cards
' laser beams or
' ball-point pens
Man had not invented :
' pantyhose
' air conditioners
' dishwashers
' clothes dryers
' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
' space travel was only in Flash Gordon books.
· Your Grandmother and I got married first,... and then lived together..
· Every family had a father and a mother.
· Until I was 25, I called every woman older than me, "mam".
· And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir."
· We were before, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
· Our lives were governed by the Bible, good judgment, and common sense.
· We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
· Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.
· We thought fast food was eating half a biscuit while running to catch the school bus.
· Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
· Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.
· Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
· We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.
· We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.
· And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
· If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk the term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
· Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
· We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
· Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel
· And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.
· You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, ... but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day:
' "grass" was mowed,
' "coke" was a cold drink,
' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
' "chip" meant a piece of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and
' "software" wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap or from the archives.
How old do you think I am?
Are you ready ?
This man would be only 70 years old today.
