One liners that we still use today.......

[Larry0071]

It's colder than a well diggers ankle.

That thing runs like a raped date!

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[bucktail]

Can't miss you if you don't leave.

 

[Newlyme]

Hate to see you go but.....
Love to watch you leave.

 

[BAP]

Don't let the Door hit You where the Good Lord split you!!

 

[Bulldog777]

You can kiss where I twist, and I don't mean my wrist.

How would you like a nice warm glass of SHUT UP

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[1970cs]

Ok I'll play!

That guy is so slow, it would take him an hour and half to watch 60 minutes!

Pat

 

[BAP]

Slick as Sh**, Twice as Nice

 

[skeets]

Slicker than snot on a brass door knob

 

[jmf78]

Slicker than snot on a brass door knob

One of my favorite lines that my grandpa would used a lot.

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[torch]

"If you had my money, you'd be a lawyer, 'cause he's got all mine."

 

[conropl]

Sometimes it is better to let people think your ignorant than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

[Larry0071]

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. Lessons will be repeated until learned.

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[Bulldog777]

Full as a tick and twice as slick.
She ain't no spring chicken.
He's got chest er drawers disease, his chest dun fell down to his drawers.

 

[DocHolladay]

Not really one line, but I use it often...

I'm going home to do some mechanic work. I'm going to put a rear end in a recliner.

 

[1970cs]

That gal reminds me of the highway between Dallas and Fort Worth, no curves.

 

[boz1989]

A co worker would use this one...

She's so ugly, she could make a train take a dirt road.

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[skeets]

That ( insert object here to be admired) is finer than frog hair

 

[D2Cat]

To a construction worker leaning on his shovel. "Quit making love to that shovel".

 

[1970cs]

He is so ugly, he has to sneak up on a glass of water.

Pat

 

[Larry0071]

If my dog were that ugly, I'd shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards.

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