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Old_Paint

Old_Paint

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DustyRusty said:
RIP RON SWANSON: South Texas man has one of the best obituaries ever
Charping died on Jan. 30, 2017 after a fight with cancer, aged 74. This was, according to the obit, “29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.”
“He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex-wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers,” the obit continues.
And it goes downhill from there:
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“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive,” the obit says.
Charping also had a handful of run-ins with the law, according to Harris County court records. His first conviction dates back to 1979, when he pleaded guilty to assault.
He also pleaded guilty in 2008 to assaulting a family member by pouring hot liquid on his then-wife of 40 years. The next year he pleaded guilty to violating the resulting restraining order by calling another family member and threatening to kill her.
According to the obituary, despite being intelligent, Charping lacked ambition, squandered the savings and chased "get rich quick schemes.
“Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned," the obituary read. "Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited [sic] sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.”
The closing line of the obit cuts rather deep:
“With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all."
Leslie, wherever you are, your obit is crashing the funeral home’s website for all the wrong reasons.
Feb 10, 2017|Updated Feb 14, 2017 12:32 p.m.
Craig Hlavaty
REPORTER, CHRON.COM / HOUSTON CHRONICLE
Craig Hlavaty is a freelance writer for chron.com and the Houston Chronicle.
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Kinda reminds me of my step-dad. I went to his funeral to make sure he was in the box.
 
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