Just wondering…
If Caitlyn Jenner goes missing, will they put her picture on a carton of Half & Half?
If Caitlyn Jenner goes missing, will they put her picture on a carton of Half & Half?
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
Just wondering…
If Caitlyn Jenner goes missing, will they put her picture on a carton of Half & Half?
OK! - You are paying for the ambulance ride.
I nearly laughed myself to death.
If the past is any predictor of the future, if Caitlyn Jenner goes missing, then her picture would be put on a box of Fruit Loops.Just wondering…
If Caitlyn Jenner goes missing, will they put her picture on a carton of Half & Half?
Yes, cutting ties with General Mills and changing to Kellogg's .
North Idaho Wolfman
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
L3450DT-GST, Woods FEL, B7100 HSD, FEL, 60" SB, 743 Bobcat with V2203, and more
Can't the poor errrr - ommmmm - aaaaaaa fruit yeah that is it, have a secret.Wonder if Brucey wears "fruit" of the looms or Victoria's secret?
85Hokie
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX-25D ,PTB. Under Armor, '90&'92-B7100HST's, '06 BX1850 FEL
IT .....
place a T in front of that.....
and an S in front of that......
whats that spell ...........
stupid __ __ __ __ ..................espn - some beaches - I aint watching them no more.......courage my ass, no award should be given.....
So, I was walking through the mall and saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store." I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do have a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?”
The clerk said, "F
***8203;*****8203;k off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do have a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?”
The clerk said, "F
***8203;*****8203;k off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
The Dot
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Washington has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States or Canada. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with Verizon technical advice.
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Washington has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States or Canada. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with Verizon technical advice.
Three women meet at a bus stop in New York city and strike up a conversation. Inevitably the topic of conversation turns to where they are from. The first woman proudly stands up and declares, "Arizona and I am a Navajo". The second women stands up and begins to speak, "Idaho . . . " . Before she can finish, the third woman jumps up and exclaims, " I'm from the Bronx and I'm a Bronx Ho - this is my bus station - you better find your own place to work! !
Would one classify this as politically incorrect?
>
> Some two hundred years ago some of the White People (North and South) sat on their porches and watched the Black People do the work that needed to be done so the Whites could live the life they wanted. If the Blacks didn't produce enough to keep the Whites happy, they complained about it. In those days it was called slavery.
>
> Today a lot of the Black People (North, South, East, and West) sit on their porches and watch the White People work to pay the taxes that are necessary for the Blacks to live the life they want. If their welfare check is not enough to keep them happy, they complain about it.
>
> It would appear to me that the only thing that has changed is the color of the slaves.
>
>
> Some two hundred years ago some of the White People (North and South) sat on their porches and watched the Black People do the work that needed to be done so the Whites could live the life they wanted. If the Blacks didn't produce enough to keep the Whites happy, they complained about it. In those days it was called slavery.
>
> Today a lot of the Black People (North, South, East, and West) sit on their porches and watch the White People work to pay the taxes that are necessary for the Blacks to live the life they want. If their welfare check is not enough to keep them happy, they complain about it.
>
> It would appear to me that the only thing that has changed is the color of the slaves.
>
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal' s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied,'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal' s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied,'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
Reminds me of a former ES classmate of mine, 1st day of school, the teacher asked him his name, he said Pimples.
She said not your nickname, your name.
He Said my name is Pimples.
Exasperated look on her face, She asks, OK, what is your last name?
He says my name is Pimples Pimples.
Not to be defeated, she asks the principal, he says I dunno, ask his folks, they are new here, live at the end of bus route 1.
A flash of logic comes to her at the end of the day, she sees the driver of bus 1, walking across the parking lot, at the end of the day, and she scurries over to him, and asks in a loud voice, EXCUSE ME MR DRIVER, DO YOU HAVE PIMPLES AT THE END OF YOUR ROUTE?
Driver answers, no ma'am, that's just the way I walk...
She said not your nickname, your name.
He Said my name is Pimples.
Exasperated look on her face, She asks, OK, what is your last name?
He says my name is Pimples Pimples.
Not to be defeated, she asks the principal, he says I dunno, ask his folks, they are new here, live at the end of bus route 1.
A flash of logic comes to her at the end of the day, she sees the driver of bus 1, walking across the parking lot, at the end of the day, and she scurries over to him, and asks in a loud voice, EXCUSE ME MR DRIVER, DO YOU HAVE PIMPLES AT THE END OF YOUR ROUTE?
Driver answers, no ma'am, that's just the way I walk...