The Two Day Course!

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Aug 29, 2015
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Australian bureaucracy for farmers
This is from about 20 years ago (found it when cleaning out old files) with the implementation of new rules for farmers by the government with relation occupational health and safety, workplace safety etc.

THE TWO DAY COURSE

There's a blight upon the country that's really quite degrading,
Invented by the bureaucrats to stop their jobs from fading.
A nasty imposition that has now been put in force,
It's become an obligation to attend a two day course.

There are courses by the hundred to improve your education,
It's now become essential that you get accreditation.
You will need that piece of paper or you'll really be in strife,
Although what you will be learning, you’ve been doing all your life.

In the drought of '69 I cut scrub from dawn till dark,
And fence posts by the thousand I have hewn from ironbark.
Now it's hard for me to fathom that I could break the law,
If I dare to start the motor of my trusty old chainsaw.

Take chemical applications, that's something I know best,
By now I must have sprayed every single living pest.
From cattle ticks to buffalo fly, from burrs to rubber vine,
Now a course must be attended or I'll risk a whopping fine.

Just ask those who know me, if I know how to use a gun!
From every sort of weapon, I've shot bullets by the ton.
Though I've been proficient since I reached the age of ten,
It seems this is something that I have to learn again.

I've studied on computers, learnt how to market crops,
Benchmarking and QA, I've been to those workshops.
Breedplan is something I now understand in full,
It took me two days to learn how to scrotum test a bull.

My stock are getting poorer from the general lack of care,
And all my bores and fences are in sad need of repair.
You may think I'm lazy, but that simply isn't true,
I'd go to work tomorrow, but there's another course to do.

The bank would like to see me, for the funds are getting low,
And I'd like to get the time to plant the crops I need to grow.
My wife and kids all miss me, 'cause I'm hardly ever there,
I'd love to stay at home, but there's this course in cattlecare.

If I continue in this vein, I'll surely end up broke,
All these accreditations are really just a joke.
I'd rather wrestle with scrub bulls or ride on bucking horses,
Than be subjected to these two day !!#*!!*# courses.

P.A. Barton, "Huntley" Clermont