Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
3,326
2,601
113
78
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
Only in Texas

Love the sun? Sun City, Texas 78628 Sunrise, Texas 76661 Sunset, Texas 76270 Sundown, Texas 79372 Sunray, Texas 79086 Sunny Side, Texas 77423

Want something to eat? Bacon, Texas 76301 Noodle, Texas 79536 Oatmeal, Texas 78605 Turkey, Texas 79261 Trout, Texas 75789 Sugar Land, Texas 77479 Salty, Texas 76567 Rice, Texas 75155 Pearland, Texas 77581 Orange, Texas 77630
And top it off with: Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all! Detroit, Texas 75436 Cleveland, Texas 75436 Colorado City, Texas 79512 Denver City, Texas 79323 Klondike, Texas 75448Pittsburg, Texas 75686 Newark, Texas 76071 Nevada, Texas 75173 Memphis, Texas 79245 Miami, Texas 79059 Boston, Texas 75570 Santa Fe, Texas 77517 Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861 Reno, Texas 75462 Pasadena, Texas 77506 Columbus, Texas 78934 Just Texas Pep, Texas 79353 Smiley, Texas 78159 Paradise, Texas 76073 Rainbow, Texas 76077 Sweet Home, Texas 77987 Comfort, Texas 78013 Friendship, Texas 76530

Feel like traveling outside the country? Athens, Texas 75751 Canadian, Texas 79014 China, Texas 77613 Dublin, Texas 76446 Egypt, Texas 77436 Ireland, Texas 76538 Italy, Texas 76538 Turkey, Texas 79261 London, Texas 76854 New London, Texas 75682 Paris, Texas 75460 Palestine, Texas 75801

No need to travel to Washington DC Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet! Earth, Texas 79031

We have a city named after our state: Texas City , Texas 77590

Exhausted? Energy , Texas 76452 Cold? Blanket , Texas 76432 Winters, Texas 79567

Like to read about History? Santa Anna , Texas 76878 Goliad, Texas 77963 Alamo, Texas 78516 Gun Barrel City , Texas 75156 Robert Lee, Texas 76945

Need Office Supplies? Staples, Texas 78670

Want to go into outer space? Venus , Texas 76084 Mars , Texas 79062

You guessed it. It's on the state line. Texline , Texas 79087

For the kids... Kermit, Texas 79745 Elmo, Texas 75118 Nemo, Texas 76070 Tarzan, Texas 79783 Winnie, Texas 77665 Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile...... Frognot, Texas 75424 Bigfoot, Texas 78005 Hogeye, Texas 75423 Cactus, Texas 79013 Notrees, Texas 79759 Best, Texas 76932 Veribest, Texas 76886 Kickapoo, Texas 75763 Dime Box, Texas 77853 Old Dime Box, Texas 77853 Telephone, Texas 75488 Telegraph, Texas 76883 Whiteface, Texas 79379 Twitty, Texas 79079


And our favorites...
Cut and Shoot, Texas 77303
Gun Barrel City , Texas 75147
Ding Dong, Texas
West, Texas (it's in Central Texas)
and, of course,
Mule Shoe , Texas 79347

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80, and everybody's passing you, you may live in Houston, Texas;

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely have lived in Texas.

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas :

1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742miles

2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles

3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.

5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike - 2008!

6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston, Texas .

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes. 9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in US history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was " Houston ," but the Space Center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island ..

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a US rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.

14. Texas is the only state to enter the US by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the US Flag, and Texas may choose to divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.

18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia, and Austin .

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the US which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington , DC (by 7 feet).

20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington Monument .

21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning "friends".. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .

22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo. An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.

23. The first domed stadium in the US was the Astrodome in Houston .

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Farlie , Texas :

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to church meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yur mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Y'all git all that?
 
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skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
12,620
1,412
113
SW Pa
I heard a man say one time in boot ,50 odd years ago,, only 2 things come from Texas. ;)
 

Daren Todd

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
Z121S Zero turn mower
May 18, 2014
7,174
1,229
113
Conway, Arkansas
Only in Texas

Love the sun? Sun City, Texas 78628 Sunrise, Texas 76661 Sunset, Texas 76270 Sundown, Texas 79372 Sunray, Texas 79086 Sunny Side, Texas 77423

Want something to eat? Bacon, Texas 76301 Noodle, Texas 79536 Oatmeal, Texas 78605 Turkey, Texas 79261 Trout, Texas 75789 Sugar Land, Texas 77479 Salty, Texas 76567 Rice, Texas 75155 Pearland, Texas 77581 Orange, Texas 77630
And top it off with: Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all! Detroit, Texas 75436 Cleveland, Texas 75436 Colorado City, Texas 79512 Denver City, Texas 79323 Klondike, Texas 75448Pittsburg, Texas 75686 Newark, Texas 76071 Nevada, Texas 75173 Memphis, Texas 79245 Miami, Texas 79059 Boston, Texas 75570 Santa Fe, Texas 77517 Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861 Reno, Texas 75462 Pasadena, Texas 77506 Columbus, Texas 78934 Just Texas Pep, Texas 79353 Smiley, Texas 78159 Paradise, Texas 76073 Rainbow, Texas 76077 Sweet Home, Texas 77987 Comfort, Texas 78013 Friendship, Texas 76530

Feel like traveling outside the country? Athens, Texas 75751 Canadian, Texas 79014 China, Texas 77613 Dublin, Texas 76446 Egypt, Texas 77436 Ireland, Texas 76538 Italy, Texas 76538 Turkey, Texas 79261 London, Texas 76854 New London, Texas 75682 Paris, Texas 75460 Palestine, Texas 75801

No need to travel to Washington DC Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet! Earth, Texas 79031

We have a city named after our state: Texas City , Texas 77590

Exhausted? Energy , Texas 76452 Cold? Blanket , Texas 76432 Winters, Texas 79567

Like to read about History? Santa Anna , Texas 76878 Goliad, Texas 77963 Alamo, Texas 78516 Gun Barrel City , Texas 75156 Robert Lee, Texas 76945

Need Office Supplies? Staples, Texas 78670

Want to go into outer space? Venus , Texas 76084 Mars , Texas 79062

You guessed it. It's on the state line. Texline , Texas 79087

For the kids... Kermit, Texas 79745 Elmo, Texas 75118 Nemo, Texas 76070 Tarzan, Texas 79783 Winnie, Texas 77665 Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile...... Frognot, Texas 75424 Bigfoot, Texas 78005 Hogeye, Texas 75423 Cactus, Texas 79013 Notrees, Texas 79759 Best, Texas 76932 Veribest, Texas 76886 Kickapoo, Texas 75763 Dime Box, Texas 77853 Old Dime Box, Texas 77853 Telephone, Texas 75488 Telegraph, Texas 76883 Whiteface, Texas 79379 Twitty, Texas 79079


And our favorites...
Cut and Shoot, Texas 77303
Gun Barrel City , Texas 75147
Ding Dong, Texas
West, Texas (it's in Central Texas)
and, of course,
Mule Shoe , Texas 79347

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80, and everybody's passing you, you may live in Houston, Texas;

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas;

If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely have lived in Texas.

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas :

1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742miles

2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles

3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.

5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike - 2008!

6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston, Texas .

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes. 9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in US history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was " Houston ," but the Space Center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island ..

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a US rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.

14. Texas is the only state to enter the US by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the US Flag, and Texas may choose to divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.

18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia, and Austin .

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the US which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington , DC (by 7 feet).

20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington Monument .

21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning "friends".. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .

22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo. An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.

23. The first domed stadium in the US was the Astrodome in Houston .

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Farlie , Texas :

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to church meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yur mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Y'all git all that?
I've actually been to Kickapoo Texas. Ironically, it was to make a delivery 😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
 

Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
3,326
2,601
113
78
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
THE TOILET SEAT


Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the

seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was

out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she

returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting

in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she

realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet

seat. About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.

They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in

desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet

around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free

her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Lucy tried to lighten the

embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never

seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've

seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."
 
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Fordtech86

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200
Aug 7, 2018
3,021
1,916
113
Pineville,LA
This guy kept getting these bad headaches. He went to the Dr., after the exam the
Dr. said well we are going to have to cut your balls off. The man said no way and left.
The headaches were getting worse. So he went to a different Dr. The Dr. came back
after the exam and said. It looks like we need to cut your ball off. The headaches were
bad so the man agreed.
After the operation the man felt great. He felt like a new man, So he decided to get
new clothes.
He went to a shop and told the tailor he would like a new suit coat. He was 40 short.
The old tailor looked at him and said no you look 42 long. The tailor grabbed the
42 long coat, it fit just right.
The man said I need new pants, 36-30. The tailor again looked at him and said
no you need 38-32. He went and got the pants, they fit just right.
the man said I need new underwear size 36, The tailor said no you need size 40
The man said look I have been wearing 36 most of my adult life, I know what size
I need.
The tailor replied. No you need size 40, to tight of underwear will pinch your balls
and give you headaches.
 
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