Daily Chuckle

i7win7

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Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,170
3,636
113
Central, IL
Does a blond *$@% in the woods?

blond in woods.jpg
 

Orangeglow

Active member

Equipment
2015 BX2370
Jun 19, 2014
316
144
43
Prescott, Ontario
A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the Couples' Alternate Shot Tournament at his club.
He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just hit it toward the green, anywhere around there will be just fine."
The wife then proceeded to shank the ball into the woods.
Undaunted, the husband said "That's OK, Sweetheart" and after spending the full allotted time looking, he found the ball but in a horrible position.
With a lot of luck and great execution, he played the shot of his life to get the ball within two feet of the hole.
"Knock it in, baby", he told his wife - to which she hammers completely off the green and into a bunker.
Still maintaining his composure, the husband summoned all of his skill and holed the shot from the bunker. He took the ball out of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey five and that's OK, but I think we can do better on the next hole".

To which she replied, "Listen a**hole, don't bitch at me, only 2 of those 5 shots were mine.
 

RCW

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Apr 28, 2013
8,284
3,877
113
Chenango County, NY
Started to break down a couple big bone-in chuck roasts for BBQ beef sammiches.

6AA5B385-01C6-4978-A582-78016803B70A.jpeg


Pretty quick, had to swap my stiff boner knife for a flexible boner.

30 years ago, I was never concerned about the stiffness of my boner.....:oops:
 
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i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,170
3,636
113
Central, IL
Not what I think of when I hear the phrase - crow's feet

crows feet.jpg
 

Fordtech86

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200
Aug 7, 2018
4,708
5,481
113
Pineville,LA
Started to break down a couple big bone-in chuck roasts for BBQ beef sammiches.

View attachment 61757

Pretty quick, had to swap my stiff boner knife for a flexible boner.

30 years ago, I was never concerned about the stiffness of my boner.....:oops:
At first when I scrolled through I thought RCW lost his mind and posted to the wrong thread.

Then I cleaned beer off my phone 😂
 
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wgator

Active member

Equipment
L4701HST, FEL and other stuff.
Jul 28, 2018
482
147
43
NC
At first when I scrolled through I thought RCW lost his mind and posted to the wrong thread.

Then I cleaned beer off my phone 😂
I thought the same thing till I read the sentences below the picture!
 
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Daren Todd

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
8,964
4,350
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
At first when I scrolled through I thought RCW lost his mind and posted to the wrong thread.

Then I cleaned beer off my phone 😂
That was my thought as well. I might have made that mistake once or twice when I lost track of where I was at. 🙄🙄🙄
 
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i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,170
3,636
113
Central, IL
My D I V O R C E became final today
divorce.jpg
 

i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,170
3,636
113
Central, IL
Looks like the start of a horror movie

don't look now.jpg
 

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
 
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Daren Todd

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
8,964
4,350
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
And that my friend is why we have disclaimers printed on everything these days 🙄🙄🙄🙄
 
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i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,170
3,636
113
Central, IL
Looks like there's a boil order today
boil order.jpg
 

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father.
He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood
pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably,
the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none.
She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.
 
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