Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A burglar broke into my house last night, so I grabbed my Glock with the Laser sight and went downstairs to confront him. He's dead but I didn't shoot him. I just put the red dot on the middle of his forehead, and my three cats took care of things.
 
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Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
When you marry the right woman you are complete. ;)

If you marry the wrong woman you are finished. :rolleyes:

And if the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are completely finished. :poop:
 
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DaTow'd

Active member

Equipment
what ever it takes to get the job done
Aug 13, 2013
183
150
43
Bella Coma BC Canada
I went for a walk with my new girlfriend & we saw dogs mating.

She said: “How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?”

I replied: “He can smell she is ready. That’s how nature works.”

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: “How does the ram know when the ewe is ready for sex?”

I replied: “It’s nature. He can smell she is ready.”

We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow. My girlfriend said: “This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can’t smell when she is ready?” I said: “Oh, yes; it’s nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex.”

Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye.

She said: “Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19.”

Surprised, “Why do you say that?” I asked her.

She replied: “You seem to have lost your sense of smell.”
 
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sheepfarmer

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L3560, B2650, Gator, Ingersoll mower
Nov 14, 2014
4,440
654
113
MidMichigan
Imagine a world in which YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter merge to be known as YouTwitFace.
 
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skeets

Well-known member

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BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,094
2,755
113
SW Pa
100 years from now some great great great grand kid is going to find one, and wonder WTH is this all about
 

Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
Pray for Ed

Ed is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was very angry.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in less then 12 seconds...AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him!
 

Lil Foot

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Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
May 19, 2011
7,259
2,203
113
Peoria, AZ
Well, maybe it could have provided some protection if I had pre-installed some prior to that little dance I had with the big window:)

Could have been a lot worse.
Ouch!
Looks like it was bad enough!
Hope you heal quick & maintain full function.
 

chim

Well-known member

Equipment
L4240HSTC with FEL, Ford 1210
Jan 19, 2013
1,738
821
113
Near Lancaster, PA, USA
Ouch!
Looks like it was bad enough!
Hope you heal quick & maintain full function.
Thank you. That was during my shed build and I recovered fine. Tried to lay a roughly 3' x 4' double insulated window (glass only) on a pair of sawhorses to fab a frame. Something slipped and next thing you know chim and a bunch of glass were tumbling over the sawhorses. Thought of a lot of things on the way down. Major thoughts:

* This ain't good. There's a lot of glass in front of me heading for the driveway and I'm about to land on it.
* Try to catch yourself even though that means landing in glass on your palms.
* Wifey isn't home. Could be good or bad.

The glass didn't have enough of a head start to get laid down flat before I mixed with it. With everything in motion, there was no chance to look for "better" spots to get my hands down. Just get them out in front so maybe the face and neck can escape damage and hope it works out.

Soon after touching down, jump up and take inventory to see where the biggest leaks were. Worst cut was the on in the pic. I think that was 27 stitches. It was my inside upper right arm. I was really blessed that no big arteries or nerves were cut. I was able to keep pressure on the cut with my left hand and it worked pretty well. A little awkward using the cell phone.

Next was a call to #3 Son's place in the next town to get wifey back to transport me. Son answered phone. I told him to calmly tell Mother that I cut myself, wasn't going into shock, didn't seem to be in danger of bleeding out, but I needed someone to drive me and don't rush.

When we did get to the ER, they were super busy and agreed with my assessment that I wasn't going to bleed to death, so I had to sit for over an hour (they gave me towels to hold on the wound so I wouldn't bleed on their floor). When the doc started sewing me up, he had already gotten all sanitized and didn't want to touch stuff, so he asked Wifey try to adjust the surgical light, but it wouldn't stay put. So with my not-so-badly damaged left hand, I fished out my always present Microstream flashlight and kept the area lit while he worked. Wifey thought that was special and snapped a picture. Doc said "Wish you wouldn't do that". I told him I'd blur his face if we ever showed that picture:)