crazy things kids say, or do

Daren Todd

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My son, now 20, was about 3 and fascinated with the load of mulch I had in the pickup.

We stopped at the family hardware store in town. He kinda had run of the place...

I was down an aisle looking for nuts/bolts and I hear him exclaim at the front register “MY DAD HAS SOMETHING IN HIS BED!” [emoji15]

I hear a guy’s voice ask “What?!?”, and my son repeats it!! [emoji15] I then hear giggling, another voice say “there’s just some things you shouldn’t know...”[emoji15]

I hear all this and think “just say PICKUP OR TRUCK”!!! [emoji30]

But then thought nah...these folks need something to talk about![emoji12]

Never did set the record straight, and heard some chuckles while I paid my tab...[emoji12]


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Our neighbors son ratted his dad out to my wife.

We had just got the new car and the neighbors hadn't realized yet. My wife was waiting at the end of the street for a car to go by so she could pull out.

They were behind her. The dad got impatient and said "Just go ALREADY!!!!" Or something along those lines.

Wife pulled up in her car after work to say hi and the first thing out of the kids mouth was "My daddy was cussing you this morning!!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣 Of course the dad turned beat red and started stuttering trying to explain what actually happened 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I was in Sam's club. Noticed this mom with her son in the cart. Mom was opening the lotions checking the feel and fragrance before buying. The same thing we've all seen women do every day in a store.

As soon as the kid made eye contact with me, he pointed at his mom and said "SHE'S STEALLING!!!!!!" At the top of his lungs. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

At this point everybody near by is looking at the mom. Mom's looking like she wished she had a hole to crawl in and hide. Beat red and stammering trying to defend herself And get that kid to shut up. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I mentioned the incident later when I saw my wife. Wife said "yup..... that little boy would have had a warm booty once we got out of the store!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂
 

RCW

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Kids these days are learning new things really fast. From slangs to their own shortcutted words and expressions that most of the older ones can't understand. Every time I see my sister talking with her friends on Instagram or face to face, they are using some expressions that I'm not able to comprehend. There are many associations of parents, experts, and teens like https://fosterplus.org, which are trying to make the relationship between them easier and assure a safer place for the younger ones. I had to talk with someone from them to explain these new expressions.
Hmmm….something smells of canned meat.

Rectangular type which people like a lot. not those delicious little sausages in a round can.

I sure as hell am not clicking on that link.
 
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chim

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Jan 19, 2013
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When the little ones start talking, they aren't always easily understood, so I developed a habit of repeating things back for verification. When the oldest boy was just starting to talk, he came into the garage and asked "What's going on, what's going on?" So I repeated back "What's going on?" He looked at me and came right back with "I don't know".

Oldest son was helping me build his sandbox when he was around 4 or 5 and I tried to explain everything as we went. I used some leftover roofing for a bottom. It took two panels to make it wide enough, so I pop-riveted the joint with the ugly ends pointing down. Then with the sides upside down, the bottom was nailed onto the 2x12's. When I asked him for a couple nails to attach the metal, he asked "Do you want frog nails?" when I asked what he meant, he said "You know, ribbits".

Youngest son, about 4 at the time, was pretty much in my hip pocket when we built the house. He went along to the supply houses and one day while at the plumbing and heating supply house, he had a severe itch to buy something. It was a game of "What's this, Dad and do we need one? At one point he asked what a certain part was, so I told him it was a foot valve. "What's it for?" told him it was for a pump. He thought he finally found something to buy and said "We have a pump, should we get one?" I said no because it was to use on a well pump. His response was "What do we have, a sick pump?"

Then there are those words that we continue to use for decades after the kids said them. A few of ours are:
Smerrich = sandwich
Pepsitoke = cola
Paper glass = paper cup
 

mike0000

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Sep 15, 2021
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Southern Indiana
My wife was dragging the family through souvenir shops while we were on vacation one year. Multiple shops that all sell the same junk.
I was keeping track of our little girl, she and I were about done with souvenir shopping and hoping Mom would find whatever the heck she was looking for soon.
Daughter says “let’s find the shoes” , I asked her why, she said “there’s always a place to sit down by the shoes”.
She’s my hero

Mike
 
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wgator

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I thought it was "crazy" then I had to eat crow. Bought first 2 wheel bike for my oldest daughter. Put it together and she sat on it, tried to put kickstand up and had a hard time doing it. Out of the mouth of babes comes wisdom and she said "Dad, this needs kickstand grease on it" I smiled to myself and said ok. Cleaning up the box after done I found a small foil packet labeled kickstand grease. :mad:
 
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ve9aa

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When my son was maybe 4 or 5 we were putting together a kit we bought for Mom on Mothers' day.
It was one of those 4 tier, raw-wood type of shelving units she'd been eyeballing.

Anyways, we were screwing it all together with the battery drill when the 2nd battery finally died. This was back in the day when I only had one cheapie drill and 2 punk batteries. The one I had put on the charger was still no good and Mom was expected back home within the hour and we had another 4 or 5 screws to put in yet.

He got so worked up, tears welling up in his eyes, he had no idea how we were going to get those screws installed in time, with 2 dead batteries.

It was a moment.

He brightened right up when I went to my toolbox and pulled out a manual screwdriver !

Kids are cute.
 

aaluck

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One that sticks out in my mind is when my son was just starting to talk. We are at the pediatrician (great doctor, but a large lady).

She walks in and he yells, while pointing, BIG YADY. She didn't miss a beat and said yes and your a big healthy boy.
 

Daren Todd

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When my middle grandson was two, he pretty much had full reign of our back yard. Well he kept going over the the gas grill and messing with.

Well I showed him the fist and told him "Boy!!!! Don't make me have to get you!!!!!".

Without missing a beat, he looked up at me and said "Don't make me take off my flip flop and whoop you!!!!!".

At that moment my wife covered her mouth and bailed into the sunroof so he didn't see her laughing, while I'm looking at my wife and saying "Gee honey!!!!! I wonder where he picked that up at???!!!!"
 
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D2Cat

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My nephew will be 3 next month. Wife was watching him for a week while sitter was on vacation. He was building something with some big tinker toy type gizzmo and the sticks were pretty long. He finally got it built as high as he could, then stood there with his hands on his hip, looked it over real good, then said "Oh Fxxx". My wife about lost it, and told him sternly that's not nice to say.

I hope his mother realizes something has to change, perhaps her quick to anger personality?

Youngsters are magnets, good or bad.
 

Daren Todd

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Anyone remember the calgon commercials. (Calgon.... take me away!!!).

Aunt was having a rough day. Her 3 year old boy said (Calgon.... take my momma away!!!!!) 😂🤣😂🤣😂