Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A Saskatchewan farmer and his wife, on their way back home in January,
are at the airport in New York awaiting their flight. They are dressed in
heavy boots, parka, scarf, mittens, etc.. An older couple standing nearby is
intrigued by their manner of dress.

The wife says to the husband: "Look at that couple. I wonder where they're from."

He replies: "How would I know?"

She counters: "You could go and ask them."

He says: "I don't really care. You want to know, you go and ask them."

She decides to do just that and walks over to the couple and asks, "Excuse
me. Looking at your dress, I wondered where you're from.."

The farmer replies: " Saskatoon, Saskatchewan".

The woman returns to her husband who asks: "So, where are they from?"

She replies: "I don't know. They don't speak English"
 
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i7win7

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BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,168
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Central, IL
My car is cooler than yours

cooler.jpeg
 
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i7win7

Well-known member

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BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,168
3,626
113
Central, IL
DeWalt handheld mixer: the reason most famous chefs are men

dewalt mixer.jpg
 

dlsmith

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BX2230, LA211
Nov 15, 2018
1,191
697
113
Goshen, IN
Even airplanes have blind spots
Especially big assed tail draggers like the TBM Avenger. It really chewed the crap out of that RV(a home built plane). I wonder if the RV's pilot got out alive. Can't tell if it was an RV-4 that has tandem seating, one in the front and one in the back, or RV-6, 8 or 9 that is side by side seating. There's no fuel or oil in the area of the RV where it was chopped up, so I wonder what the big puddle under it is. Or maybe I don't want to know.
 

m32825

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3800HST
Jul 12, 2013
204
10
18
Central FL
Especially big assed tail draggers like the TBM Avenger. It really chewed the crap out of that RV(a home built plane). I wonder if the RV's pilot got out alive. Can't tell if it was an RV-4 that has tandem seating, one in the front and one in the back, or RV-6, 8 or 9 that is side by side seating. There's no fuel or oil in the area of the RV where it was chopped up, so I wonder what the big puddle under it is. Or maybe I don't want to know.

Accident report...
 

cliffboyer

Active member

Equipment
L3301 w/LA525 loader, G5200 mower w/RC48 deck, Kawasaki 610 Mule, DR mower
Nov 30, 2017
240
48
28
Southern IL
Especially big assed tail draggers like the TBM Avenger. It really chewed the crap out of that RV(a home built plane). I wonder if the RV's pilot got out alive. Can't tell if it was an RV-4 that has tandem seating, one in the front and one in the back, or RV-6, 8 or 9 that is side by side seating. There's no fuel or oil in the area of the RV where it was chopped up, so I wonder what the big puddle under it is. Or maybe I don't want to know.
Does not appear any red anywhere. Prop & yellow tips show clean. Could be fuel...or occupants evacuated their bowels.

Edit: Oooh...I stand corrected. Such a tragedy.
 
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Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,058
6,438
113
80
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WISS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_______________________________________ ____
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
_______________________________________ ____
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh***ing me?
_______________________________________ __
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WISS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
0AWITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_______________________________________ __
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_______________________________________ __
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
_______________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WISS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
 
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i7win7

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BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,168
3,626
113
Central, IL
Drivers freak out when they notice this in the rearview mirror

tailgator.jpg