Daily Chuckle

armylifer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Mar 26, 2013
1,955
696
113
Thurston County, WA
Skeets, I am impressed with you just because of your avatar.
 

Newlyme

Active member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
May 27, 2015
633
63
28
Nelson Ohio USA
I like the Bear sign I saw on the front door of a store on the Alaska Highway.

Keep your dogs on a leash at all times. If your dog gets loose and chased by a bear he is going to run back to you.
And if you are being chased by a bear, Don't Run In Here!
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,149
2,809
113
SW Pa
HUH?? I thought I could speak redneck hillbilly and country,, so wad he say?
 

85Hokie

Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX-25D ,PTB. Under Armor, '90&'92-B7100HST's, '06 BX1850 FEL
Jul 13, 2013
10,342
2,164
113
Bedford - VA
did you notice the rather short electrical cord too?
Funny - that is exactly where the blade will nip the cord if'n you aint careful!

Plus ....the fall will not hurt - but that sudden stop is gonna be a beeeeauuuuch!:D
 

cliffboyer

Active member

Equipment
L3301 w/LA525 loader, G5200 mower w/RC48 deck, Kawasaki 610 Mule, DR mower
Nov 30, 2017
240
48
28
Southern IL
I have never cut a cord.....but that 36 grit belt on the the sander has claimed one or two!
 

Howling

Member

Equipment
BX2370
Feb 5, 2016
217
10
18
Ayer, MA
Cutting through cord is great instant shut off device for guys that don't pay attention to the power tools.

All the battery power tools these days are missing that feature.
 

armylifer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Mar 26, 2013
1,955
696
113
Thurston County, WA
Cutting through cord is great instant shut off device for guys that don't pay attention to the power tools.

All the battery power tools these days are missing that feature.
That's why some people have missing digits now.
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,149
2,809
113
SW Pa
Subject: 68 AND PREGNANT . . . .
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young
new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor
told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the
corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the
doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years
old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she
was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?"
 

armylifer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Mar 26, 2013
1,955
696
113
Thurston County, WA
I was eating breakfast with my teenage Granddaughter and I asked her,
"What special day is it tomorrow?”

Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day!”

She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?"

I was not ready for what she was about to say.

She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.”

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
 

Bulldog777

New member

Equipment
L3200, RTA1266, Modern 5' BB, Mustang 60 FM
Jan 25, 2017
215
0
0
Texas
A doctor, lawyer, and a preacher went hunting together. While walking thru the woods they saw a trophy buck and all three shot at the same time. When they arrived at the downed deer there was only one bullet hole and an argument was started over who killed the deer. While the argument ensued, a Game Warden came up on the three arguing. The Game Warden asked what they were arguing about and it was quickly explained what happened. The Game Warden said he could tell by the bullet hole, the preacher had killed the deer. The doctor and lawyer asked how could he tell. The Game Warden stated, " Because it went in one ear and out the other ear. "

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captmikem

Member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2660 MX 4800 and a bunch of attachments.
Mar 16, 2017
142
15
18
SW Washington State.
OLDER people have problems that you haven't even considered yet !


A 71-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 71-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing' Then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing ...'

The doctor was shocked ! You asked your neighbor ?' The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Sad to grow old
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,149
2,809
113
SW Pa
Wednesday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.
I was bored with nothing to do.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said, "Come in and sit down."

I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked,
"What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the snot out of me. Never got this far before.."
 

Daren Todd

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
9,045
4,507
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
A parent with a sense of humor :D:D



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