Daily Chuckle

DThrash

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7030SU MX 4700
Sep 29, 2015
184
1
18
Eutaw AL
The other night, there was 3 of us coming back from a detail. We were all in game warden trucks with lights on top, decals on doors and law enforcement written across our tail gates. There was a fellow come up behind Steve and pass him, no real big deal, then he passes Frank in a no passing zone, then we decide to stop him when we got to a safe place, before we got to a safe place, he passes me in a no passing zone. Now 3 trucks with blue lights pull him over. No drivers license, DUI, no insurance, open container and passing in no passing zone. Where is Jeff Foxworthy and his sign when you need him? I have done some stupid stuff in my day, but never begged to go to jail.:D
 

bucktail

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L1500DT, 6' king kutter back blade, boom, dirt scoop ford disk JD212
Jun 13, 2016
1,233
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63
MN
Bill Engval is the "here's your sign" guy.
 

D2Cat

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Mar 27, 2014
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DThrash, maybe the fellow need some medical attention, teeth fixed or something and didn't have any funds, or got kicked out of his residence, so figured jail might be the best solution!
 

Newlyme

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M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
May 27, 2015
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Nelson Ohio USA
Going Skydiving without a Parachute? :eek:


That is a once in a lifetime experience! :D
 

DThrash

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7030SU MX 4700
Sep 29, 2015
184
1
18
Eutaw AL
DThrash, maybe the fellow need some medical attention, teeth fixed or something and didn't have any funds, or got kicked out of his residence, so figured jail might be the best solution!
He should have just robbed a bank, get better medical care in Federal Prison, county jail is bad news.
 

GeoHorn

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M4700DT, LA1002FEL, Ferguson5-8B Compactor-Roller, 10KDumpTrailer, RTV-X900
May 18, 2018
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Texas
The other night, there was 3 of us coming back from a detail. We were all in game warden trucks with lights on top, decals on doors and law enforcement written across our tail gates. There was a fellow come up behind Steve and pass him, no real big deal, then he passes Frank in a no passing zone, then we decide to stop him when we got to a safe place, before we got to a safe place, he passes me in a no passing zone. Now 3 trucks with blue lights pull him over. No drivers license, DUI, no insurance, open container and passing in no passing zone. Where is Jeff Foxworthy and his sign when you need him? I have done some stupid stuff in my day, but never begged to go to jail.:D
Can you imagine the drunk's thought processes as he experiences deja vu passing the same truck three times?


Here's another goofy:
 

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Bulldog777

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L3200, RTA1266, Modern 5' BB, Mustang 60 FM
Jan 25, 2017
215
0
0
Texas
A nun gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."



She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."



"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."



She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."



The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"



"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."



The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.



"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"



"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied, and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."



The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a costume party."
Coca- Cola just went everywhere!![emoji1787][emoji23]

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sawmill

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bx24 backhoe/fel, 48" Bush mower
Nov 16, 2014
559
104
43
ione, washington
Arthur is 90 years old He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago One day he arrives home looking downcast.


"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggestion: "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try."


"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help."


"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."


So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"


"Of course I did!", says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."
Where did it go?" asks Arthur.

"Can't remember."
 

skeets

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BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,149
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SW Pa
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"
"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!
"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling,
"Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"
 

Daren Todd

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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
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Vilonia, Arkansas
I wanna know the story behind this sign :D:D:D



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