Daily Chuckle

armylifer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Mar 26, 2013
1,955
695
113
Thurston County, WA
Bill, I cannot count the number of times that my mom whipped me with a belt or anything handy. When she was done whipping me I always heard "just wait 'til your father gets home". Mom would always wait until after supper to tell dad of my infraction and then he would hold court. He would always ask if what mom told him was true. If we said yes then we would get a spanking from him and sent to bed. If we said no, he would ask if mom was lying. Of course there was no correct answer to that one and we would still get spanked and sent to be.

My parents never charged me rent but my mom would "borrow" money from me every week and I would never see it again.

From the time that I was 14 years old until I was 18 years old, I was in an apprenticeship to become a baker. I worked at one of the largest bakeries in Wisconsin at that time. One day I got into an altercation with my bosses son about how many apples he told me to core for apple pies that week. He got pissed off because I cored 10 crates more than he thought he told me to. He ranted that now we had to have a sale on apple pies to get rid of all the extra pies we had no make. I argued with him instead of just shutting up and letting him rant, so he fired me.

I went home and told my mom that I was fired from my baker's apprenticeship. The next day my boss came to the house and asked my mom where I was. She said I was still in bed (it was 6am). He came into my bedroom and literally rolled me out of bed and told me to get to work, that his son could not fire me because he was not the boss. I told him I wanted to quit because I did not want to work with Junior anymore. He said "tough shit" and told me to get into the truck and get the deliveries done. He got my mom to drive him back to the bakery. I was stewing while I made the deliveries on my route and I slowly came to realize that I had no choice but to go back to work and suck it up. He did give me a 5 cent pay raise though. I sometimes wonder if there was some collusion between my boss and my mom in that little episode.

I think that all of us in our 60's and over probably have some very similar stories to tell, some like yours worse than others. But you know what? At least I had two parents growing up and even though I hated their brand of love, I still love them, minus the beatings of course.
 

RCW

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Apr 28, 2013
8,284
3,873
113
Chenango County, NY
"Just wait till your father comes home!"
That used send shivers down my brother's and my spine....

After 40 years of farming, without a barn cleaner or silo unloader, Dad had some pretty hard hands!:eek:
 

Lil Foot

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
May 19, 2011
7,260
2,204
113
Peoria, AZ
I'm convinced my mom had a streak of sadism, but my dad was just really strict, and of course he backed my mom.
I think they were trying to teach work ethic, responsibility, and independence- which worked to some extent for me. I certainly could not wait to be independent from them.:D
But it backfired for my older sister and (2) younger brothers- they saw me paying rent, buying my own clothes & school supplies, and decided they wanted no part of that, so none of them got jobs until they were long out of the family home.
 

bearbait

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3560, 64" snowblower, 72" back blade
Dec 9, 2011
4,000
741
113
New Glasgow Canada
Times were a lot different back then and even though we went through some tough times in my books we turned out all right and did quite well for ourselves and families. Also as long as we're still around to bitch about it it's all good. For me it's time to get on with life, at 62 I'm on the back side of er now.;)
 

Daren Todd

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
8,964
4,344
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
Wouldn't have made any difference at our house- mom would have still beaten me, then beaten me again for:
(multiple choice)
A) using the vacuum without permission
B) using the vacuum incorrectly
C) using the vacuum to get out of a beating
D) "You are using the vacuum, therefore you must be trying to vacuum up evidence of something else you did wrong"
Bill, minor stuff, dad and mom would get us. Parents were divorced but talked about the major stuff. One got us immediately, the other got us when they saw us the next time. Being an Identicle twin, if one of us did something, both got the same punishment.

If we really screwed up, we spent the weekend at my great grandma Dolly's. Grandma Dolly was a widow during the depression raising 5 boys and running there modest farm. She didn't take no sh@t. If you screwed up at her place, it was a whooping and parked in a corner for hours.

Teenage years, I had a step parent who was a manic depressant, obsessive compulsive, alcoholic, and opioid addict. Most of the time it was 2 hour lectures on how much of a POS I was. Could start because you were yawning and she turned to see you. Apparently yawning is considered giving her a dirty look.
 

bearbait

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3560, 64" snowblower, 72" back blade
Dec 9, 2011
4,000
741
113
New Glasgow Canada
:D:D:D:D



Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk
Bahahahaha, now that's more like it. Another good start to the day. In my case it's after market parts for the bike. I'm always up at 4 with my old dog and my girl doesn't get up till 7 so the first thing she does ie check the bank and credit card account. :eek:
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,094
2,755
113
SW Pa
I just hope that when I die,,,,, MY wife doesnt sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them !
 

seanbarr

New member

Equipment
B7100DT (sold) - Branson 3520H
Feb 1, 2013
384
7
0
Deer Park, WA
AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

RCW

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Apr 28, 2013
8,284
3,873
113
Chenango County, NY
AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
Sean - that made me laugh.

For some reason, it reminded me of young idiots with their pants down their asses crossing on green lights, challenging drivers to stop.

Several years ago, had an encounter with several guys like that. I apparently got too close for their liking, and they approached my truck.

Unfortunately for them, I had a 6'6"/285 pound passenger that got out of my truck to confront them...as soon as he stood, they scattered! I'm 6'4" and 240, so we were a big load!
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,094
2,755
113
SW Pa
Them azzhats think its cool or gangsta, not one of them understand that in the gray bar hotel, thats means you be available to be somebodies beaches