I thought I would inherit it......

RCW · Feb 22, 2016

Many times I've mentioned my Dad's Minneapolis Moline Z. We had it when we were dairy farmers. NFE with front blade and trip forks.

He's still alive and well, and always said it would come to me when the time came....

I used to back it and manure spreader down the 100' barn floor at 6, skid logs at 14.... you get the idea; grew up with it.

Since they moved to suburbia 30 years ago, it's been the only farm tractor in my folk's subdivision.

Recently, younger sister married a vegetable farmer. She was born shortly before we sold the cows and later, the farm.

She has never driven the MM once, but Dad has given the tractor to her. He said it should be on a farm.

Kinda hurt, but it is his tractor. He always wanted to keep it, since it was a way he remembered his father, when they farmed with it and worked on it.

He knows in the next couple years my wife and I can retire, and may move further south. I assured him the tractor would go with me, but I think that has been the deal breaker.

I'm Executor of their Wills, and the "responsible" child of their three.

That tractor is a way I remember not only my father, but grandfather as well...............

He won't be happy with the way my brother-in-law takes care of the tractor, and I know I would provide it much more care.

It's his tractor, and at 78 years old, he can do with it as he pleases.....

Just venting, because we all love tractors......

bcbull378 · Feb 22, 2016

Damn I feel for you I know what your talking about as a kid I was raised operating one of my fathers tractors a Cletrac Model HD what memories I have of my father and I with that tractor we still have that tractor at the ranch and dad has been gone 35 years this month. I hope your brother in law has more common sense than mine does if so I'm sure he'd understand your feelings and may offer you the tractor if not maybe you could buy him a replacement and swap tractors just a thought. Hope all works out I'll say a prayer for you that all works out one day.

Tooljunkie · Feb 22, 2016

I kind of know what you are feeling. All i wanted was my dad's guns (2) and a few of his tools. Nope. Big brother got and ruined one gun and lost the other after loaning to a friend. Sold the tools.

RCW · Feb 22, 2016

Daniel and Frank -

Thanks. It's not the value of the tractor, it's what it represents in your lineage, and family experience.

My sister has absolutely zero experience with the tractor, but she's married to a farmer now.

When it's all done, it's my dad's tractor, and I really respect his choice to do with it as he pleases.......

Oddly, almost 30 years ago my father-in-law passed away. He had 2 guns; one a 336 Marlin in .35 Rem, and a Belgium Brown Sweet 16 - 16 Gauge no less!!

I asked my BIL about the guns - he said he wanted 1 - which one I asked, and he said the rifle!

I said I'm Okay with that!!!

D2Cat · Feb 22, 2016

RCW, I sense your pain.

You were just telling your situation, not asking for idea or opinions, but I'm going to throw one out.

I have to interpolate a lot of the situation, but if you have a good relationship with your dad, I would suggest a quite discussion with your mom and dad both together. Tell them how important the tractor is to you. Paint word pictures of different times you were using it from the time you were 4 to recent times. What you had hoped to do with it, to keep those memories alive.

Explain to them your disappointment, and why you feel that way. Ask them to reconsider. Offer to pay something to your sister/BIL to compensate.

I keep mentioning BOTH. Because if your mother is there and feels your pain, she will go to bat for you... dealing with your dad in her own way when you're not there.

No matter the outcome of this ordeal RCW cherish the time you have with your dad, and don't let this tractor be a dividing point. My prayers will be with you.

TripleR · Feb 22, 2016

I completely understand your sadness at the loss of the cherished machine. My dad bought his only new tractor in 1955. My brother still has it and my brother uses it often in spite of having newer, better tractors. He was closer to dad than I and the tractor is where it belongs.

Tooljunkie · Feb 22, 2016

D2c has a good point.
You could make your feelings known. To all involved. If anything perhaps it will be treated with the same respect you would have.

Lil Foot · Feb 22, 2016

I know your pain. When my Dad died at 41, my mom weirded out, moved in an A**H*** loser, disowned all 4 kids, cutoff my younger brother's funding to go to university, (I picked up the last 2 years) threw my youngest brother (15yrs old) out of the house with nothing, (guess who picked up that tab?) and told us all to go to hades. As bad as that was, she also kept & later disposed of my fathers gun collection. Any part of it would have made me happy, but my Dad had promised me a 1903 Springfield that he had personally sporterized. Hand polished & blued, jeweled bolt, scoped, stock hand carved from a 4"x7"x4' block of cherry, butt plate, heel cap, & forend cap in black, with a layer of ivory & another layer of silver under each one. Incredibly accurate, he took several deer, a moose, & a bear with it. Beside the sentimental attachment, it was also the first firearm I ever shot, hit an 18" gong at 600 yards with my first shot.
Who knows where it is now.

Daren Todd · Feb 23, 2016

RCW, sorry to hear about the tractor. Stuff like that can be very tough, especially when you know someone probably won't take care of it as it should.

I'm on the opposite side, where my father in law gave me the tractor

But he discussed it with my brother in law first. Now my brother in law got miffed when I was given the welder. He felt my father in law was playing favorites. My father in law actually confronted him about it, and brought up the fact he was offered it first and said he didn't have a use for it

skeets · Feb 23, 2016

I was going to sit this one out, but I have a point, well not a point but a thought I guess.
FIL had a beautiful 1964 Ford Galaxy,, his baby,, and an old ratted out Jeep, that he drove around in to and from work, he passed and my Ex's oldest sister and hubbie took the Ford the day of the funeral. Told my Ex she could have the jeep, she cried for days over that.
Not over the car mind you, but over the greed her own flesh and blood showed toward her and her youngest sister.
The old man had it garage kept since the day it was new, it sat out side and was a pile of rust in 2 years.
Greed is a terrible thing, especial when it's family.

Daren Todd · Feb 23, 2016

Skeets, my dad and I don't have a relationship because of that crap.

TripleR · Feb 23, 2016

To no one in particular, my dad was at one time about as low as they come and we had no contact for about fifteen years, he lived in a different state. He got cancer and everyone decided to just let the past go. We reconnected, he got to meet and establish a relationship with my kids and those of another brother. He moved back to one of our farms and by the time he passed, we were on really good terms. We were all thankful we had the chance to get to know each other and reconcile. I know it's not possible for many and movement on both sides are necessary, in my case it was.

For me at least family is far more important than past wrongs, favoritism etc.

RCW · Feb 23, 2016

Thanks for the kind thoughts and ideas, guys. Greatly appreciated, and I guess I just needed to vent to some folks that I figured could relate.

When it's all done, my dad and I have a good relationship. A tractor won't change that.

Also, it really does belong on a farm. Sis and BIL will be able to use it regularly, which I won't be able to do. I can see that as well, and respect my dad's choice to do with it as he pleases. In this case, I also don't want to pit myself between my folks and my sister.

Do I like it, no. But I'm also from a background where you play the hand your dealt, and move on......

To skeets and Daren - I certainly appreciate that sometimes folks get greedy when a family member passes, and it can get ugly. Trust me, greed is not a factor for me, its more an issue of history, I guess.

My dad was shocked last summer when a nice early '50's MM-U sold for only $1,800. He stood right at the drawbar, and showed the auctioneer how to start it!! A model U is one size bigger than dad's Z.

I've looked at a bunch of MM's at auctions over the years; guess I'll keep looking!

Daren Todd · Feb 23, 2016

TripleR, I agree whole heartedly with what you say

My relationship with my dad, isn't for lack of me trying. I call him every other week, whether he wants to talk or not. And stop in at least once every 6 weeks. The lack of relationship is on his end. He has a manic depressant wife with an overactive imagination. Some things happened that they pulled, got caught, and now we aren't allowed in "her" home. The only time he will come visit with us when we are up there, is when we are at gramps checking on him. But I think that is more for supervision so we can't "steal his estate"

RCW · Feb 23, 2016

TripleR and Daren - - - so sorry to hear your relationship with your dads is/was rocky.

My dad has a 9th grade education - but he is one of the wisest, hardest working men I know. I have great respect for him.

His "college boy" was the first in the family to go to college - he prodded me to go since I was 8. He wanted me to be a veterinarian - knew how much his vet bill was each month!

He had to settle for a forester!

What still bugs me is he hasn't said a word to me about this - my wife saw it on my sister's facebook.

He's a direct, no-fuss kinda guy. I know where I get it from... In that respect, I think he's gun-shy about telling me. But, again, I will fully support his decision, because he's my dad.

Grouse Feathers · Feb 23, 2016

RCW said:
Thanks for the kind thoughts and ideas, guys. Greatly appreciated, and I guess I just needed to vent to some folks that I figured could relate.

When it's all done, my dad and I have a good relationship. A tractor won't change that.

I think you should still talk to your dad and sister, not about her getting the tractor, but what happens if they ever decide to dispose of the tractor. Make sure they know the tractor means something and you want to keep it in the family. I have seen it happen where they trade it in on something better/newer.

RCW · Feb 23, 2016

Grouse Feathers said:
I think you should still talk to your dad and sister, not about her getting the tractor, but what happens if they ever decide to dispose of the tractor. Make sure they know the tractor means something and you want to keep it in the family. I have seen it happen where they trade it in on something better/newer.

Larry - good point, since I could see exactly that happening.

sawmill · Feb 23, 2016

In 1989 my wife's older brother passed. He and I were like brothers. He had quite a gun collection. One of the guns was a double barreled .375 H and H. One of her younger brothers came in and latched right on to the guns. I told him I would buy the guns from him. He wouldn't have it. I told him I just wanted them for a keep sake, to keep in the family. Nope. I told my wife, he won't have those guns six months. About a month after he got his hands on them he sold them at a yard sale. Sometimes a death in the family brings out the greed folks.

TripleR · Feb 23, 2016

Daren Todd said:
TripleR, I agree whole heartedly with what you say My relationship with my dad, isn't for lack of me trying. I call him every other week, whether he wants to talk or not. And stop in at least once every 6 weeks. The lack of relationship is on his end. He has a manic depressant wife with an overactive imagination. Some things happened that they pulled, got caught, and now we aren't allowed in "her" home. The only time he will come visit with us when we are up there, is when we are at gramps checking on him. But I think that is more for supervision so we can't "steal his estate"

You've done all that can be expected and your conscience will be clear. My relationship with dad would read like a darned Erskine Caldwell novel and too convoluted to explain, but neither one of us could have reconciled without help from the other.

Bi-Polar Disorder is a real bear, I've dealt with it personally and professionally and no matter what you do, it's like living with a...well you know. It's kind of ironic that I studied psychology, it interests me, but when I graduated I found I didn't like the practical application and found it to be pretty ineffectual. It sounds like you and your dad are dealing with somme really tough issues.

RCW said:
TripleR and Daren - - - so sorry to hear your relationship with your dads is/was rocky.

My dad has a 9th grade education - but he is one of the wisest, hardest working men I know. I have great respect for him.

His "college boy" was the first in the family to go to college - he prodded me to go since I was 8. He wanted me to be a veterinarian - knew how much his vet bill was each month! He had to settle for a forester!

What still bugs me is he hasn't said a word to me about this - my wife saw it on my sister's facebook.

He's a direct, no-fuss kinda guy. I know where I get it from... In that respect, I think he's gun-shy about telling me. But, again, I will fully support his decision, because he's my dad.

Failure or reluctance on the part of dads to communicate with their sons is fairly common in my experience. I sure know my dad couldn't and many men avoid it whether they notice it or not. That often causes confusion and misunderstanding on both sides.

Grouse Feathers raised a good point, sometimes the son/daughter has to take the initiative; won't change the present situation, but may set the groundwork for the future. I try to maintain open communication with my grown sons and daughters, but I'm sure there's room for improvement as I'm sure we assume the other knows how they feel/think when in reality we may be totally clueless.

Sorry if I come across preachy or a know it all as I sure don't.

RCW · Feb 23, 2016

TripleR said:
Failure or reluctance on the part of dads to communicate with their sons is fairly common in my experience. I sure know my dad couldn't and many men avoid it whether they notice it or not.

Sorry if I come across preachy or a know it all as I sure don't.

TripleR - actually, you hit the nail on the head as far as communication goes. My dad and I are very similar - ya' know the whole apple and the tree thing.

We both can be brutally blunt, until there's family involved. Then, it's more the strong, silent type. One of my son's buddies thinks I'm scary!

For the life of me, can't figure out why a 6'-4" 240 lb grumpy old guy would be scary!

And trust me, you don't come across as preachy or a know it all. I appreciate the insight.

I thought I would inherit it......

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